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Me: I know you aren’t in the best of moods.

Nell: I am not.

Me: But I had to take you to see Alex yesterday.

Nell: Whatever.

Me: You needed your ear drops.

Nell: I didn’t need the shame of a public weigh in.

Me: The scales are in reception.

Nell: I didn’t need my weight discussed by all and sundry. Including a rather large Pyrenean Mountain Dog who had no business getting involved.

Me: I agree. The nurse thought you looked a little slimmer.

Nell: Do you know what it’s like to have David being Marvellous all the time and showered with treats and Harriet eating like a horse and staying slim and petite?

Me: I sort of do know, Nell, as my sisters could always eat what they liked and I never could.

Nell: I am who I am.

Me: I know and I wouldn’t change anything about you. We all love you, Nell. Would you like a pot of Earl Grey by the fire?

Nell: That would be kind. And a soft blanket, perhaps?

Me: Of course. I’ll ask Harriet to bring you the latest Good Housekeeping.

Nell: And just a few of Poppy’s shortbread biscuits?

Me: You are not supposed to have those.

Nell: I understand. Shortbread is reserved for the young and marvellous.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: At least Meghan sounded happy when she called from Australia. They gave her a kangaroo for the royal baby, you know.

Me: I’m not sure it will settle over here, Nell. Although we used to have wallabies on the Isle of Wight.

Nell: It’s a soft toy. Good grief.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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