Nell: Not now David and I are resting. Visiting hours aren’t until later.
Me: I just wanted an update.
Nell: I don’t think I can update anyone on anything. I’m exhausted after all that dancing last night.
Me: The Cat and Dave were just excited about Strictly starting again.
Nell: Aren’t we all, but we have months to go and sequinned socks are a step too far.
Me: Yes, but we need to talk about Jago.
Nell: Well, talk quietly please. It’s Sunday morning and I haven’t even had a cup of Earl Grey yet.
Me: So it seems the Beefies broke their word and revealed Jago isn’t a pedigree.
Nell: We don’t know if it was them but the Salcombe Set have definitely cancelled Jago’s membership.
Me: How did you find out?
Nell: Sebastian rang me yesterday evening. He said there was nothing he could do.
Me: Are you seeing him again?
Nell: Yes. Sebastian is excellent company. He is a very well travelled spaniel, although the gold collar is a little ostentatious.
Me: You must invite him here so we can get to know him too.
Nell: Poppy said the same thing. She wants to try out a new recipe. Fruity chicken curry. I hope Mutley doesn’t make pina coladas. David ate one of those little umbrellas last time.
Me: Did you talk to Jago?
Nell: Yes. He was very low when I spoke to him. Ashamed of losing the cafe.
Me: Maybe the Beefies will sell it back to him if it doesn’t do well.
Nell: The reviews on TreatAdvisor are certainly appalling. I mean who wants a lobster latte, or a monkfish macchiato?
Me: Not me. Were you able to console him?
Nell: I think I was. I told him that diversity is welcomed nowadays and nobody gives a fig for your background. A Doberdane is a wonderful thing to be and he should be proud not ashamed.
Me: What did he say?
Nell: He brightened up considerably and told me about a rather lovely Labradoodle called Lily who he has been seeing secretly. I think Harriet knows her from dance classes.
Me: I didn’t know Harriet danced.
Nell: She goes to Rita Pawreno with Gladys. Didn’t you see her dancing with Jim last night?
Me: I thought their salsa was good.
Nell: Honestly, next you’ll be telling me you didn’t know Poppy won Masterchef.
Me: Poppy is a Masterchef champion?
Nell: Masterchef Professionals. Do keep up. Poppy isn’t an amateur.
Me: Of course. Sorry.