Nell: I don’t know why you’ve all taken against Sebastian. You ruined my evening. Poppy apologised but it’s too late.
Me: There’s something we don’t like about him.
Nell: You are always like this when I meet someone. You were the same about Charlie.
Me: We weren’t. We like Charlie. A lot.
Nell: Well, he isn’t here and Sebastian is.
Me: I know. Charlie is off doing James Bond stuff.
Nell: Good grief. Stop getting carried away. Charlie works for the Secret Service but he isn’t James Bond.
Me: He is handsome enough to be.
Nell: Enough about Charlie. Just try and be civil to Sebastian.
Me: We are.
Nell: Poppy gave Sebastian the smallest poppadom and hardly any chutney.
Me: By accident.
Nell: Poppy doesn’t do things by accident. Especially when it comes to food.
Nell: Harriet gave him custard when he asked for cream.
Me: Custard goes well with Poppy’s apple crumble.
Nell: It was for his coffee.
Me: Oh. It was probably a mistake then.
Nell: Harriet winked at David. I saw her.
Me: But he’s so pretentious. He won’t stop talking about himself.
Nell: It’s just his way. He comes from a wealthy family.
Me: Sebastian is not right for you, Nell. His ears are too long and his hair is too girly.
Nell: I will make my own decisions, thank you, and they will not be based on looks.
Me: You are right. By the way, Mutley thinks he knows him from somewhere.
Nell: Probably the yacht club. Sebastian loves to sail.
Me: Just be careful. We are only protecting you.
Nell: Did David just walk past carrying my handbag and wearing a sequinned bandage?
Me: He might have done.
Nell: The Cat is behind this and stop laughing.
Me: Yes. Sorry.