Don’t criticise the Lemon Drizzle

Me: Poppy seems awfully low.

Nell: Yes. Some people don’t seem to have anything better to do than to criticise others.

Me: What’s happened?

Nell: Poppy’s reputation is at stake.

Me: Oh no. Why?

Nell: Somebody criticised her lemon drizzle cake.

Me: What? Her lemon drizzle is renowned. John the Doberman is even thinking of selling it at Starbarks.

Nell: I know. Tom Barker Howls, the food critic, mentioned Poppy’s scones in his column.

Me: I didn’t know she knew him.

Nell: He’s great pals with Harry so I met him at the wedding and he tried one.

Me: Did they have Poppy’s scones at the Royal Wedding then?

Nell: No. I always have a scone in my handbag. Do keep up.

Me: Oh, I see. But who criticised her?

Nell: It was started by the Grockles from the holiday let.

Me: You mean the visitors?

Nell: Yes, we call them Grockles in Devon.

Me: I know but we don’t usually tell anyone. What did they say?

Nell: Apparently The Cat kindly invited them round for tea and one of them said the cake was dry and was it shop bought.

Me: How rude.

Nell: Personally, I think The Cat might have left the cake out. Everyone knows it needs to go in a tin.

Me: It does.

Nell: Nevertheless I can’t have some visiting hamster criticise Poppy, especially behind her back. It’s cruel and it’s cowardly.

Me: Well, to be fair they didn’t know Poppy made the cake. Wait, did you say hamster?

Nell: Yes. Do you think only cats and dogs go on holiday?

Me: No, sorry.

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