Me: Poppy seems awfully low.
Nell: Yes. Some people don’t seem to have anything better to do than to criticise others.
Me: What’s happened?
Nell: Poppy’s reputation is at stake.
Me: Oh no. Why?
Nell: Somebody criticised her lemon drizzle cake.
Me: What? Her lemon drizzle is renowned. John the Doberman is even thinking of selling it at Starbarks.
Nell: I know. Tom Barker Howls, the food critic, mentioned Poppy’s scones in his column.
Me: I didn’t know she knew him.
Nell: He’s great pals with Harry so I met him at the wedding and he tried one.
Me: Did they have Poppy’s scones at the Royal Wedding then?
Nell: No. I always have a scone in my handbag. Do keep up.
Me: Oh, I see. But who criticised her?
Nell: It was started by the Grockles from the holiday let.
Me: You mean the visitors?
Nell: Yes, we call them Grockles in Devon.
Me: I know but we don’t usually tell anyone. What did they say?
Nell: Apparently The Cat kindly invited them round for tea and one of them said the cake was dry and was it shop bought.
Me: How rude.
Nell: Personally, I think The Cat might have left the cake out. Everyone knows it needs to go in a tin.
Me: It does.
Nell: Nevertheless I can’t have some visiting hamster criticise Poppy, especially behind her back. It’s cruel and it’s cowardly.
Me: Well, to be fair they didn’t know Poppy made the cake. Wait, did you say hamster?
Nell: Yes. Do you think only cats and dogs go on holiday?
Me: No, sorry.
