Nell: Have you ever had a makeover?
Me: Not really. I’m not that kind of person.
Nell: Well, Gladys and The Cat want to give Harriet one and we have to stop them.
Me: Harriet doesn’t need one. She is so pretty.
Nell: Yes. She has classic labradorian good looks.
Me: Like you.
Nell: Thank you. I like to visit Doug and the girls now and again for grooming of course.
Me: Yes.
Nell: Gladys, however, travels up to London to see Nicky Bark once a week.
Me: I don’t think I know him.
Nell: One of those Afghan Hounds with long blonde hair. Celebrity hairdresser.
Me: Gosh. Well, she does have a lot of hair.
Nell: And The Cat wears mascara.
Me: No.
Nell: Oh yes, I caught David wearing some the other day. And those silvery bits in its hair.
Me: Yes?
Nell: Highlights.
Me: Crikey.
Nell: Crikey? Honestly, whatever are you going to say next. Golly gumdrops?
Me: They are very good highlights.
Nell: That’s not the point. Do you want Harriet to go blonde and start wearing feathers? Are we going to let them turn her into a painted hussy?
Me: No, of course not. Sorry.
