Nell: I can’t believe Gladys has been given the role of Anita in West Side Story. I don’t know what possessed Rupert.
Me: Gladys does have lovely fluffy hair.
Nell: Gladys looks like my Russian winter hat.
Me: She does a bit.
Nell: I’m sure I saw one of the guardsman outside Buckingham Palace wearing her on his head.
Me: That’s mean.
Nell: It must be because she’s a friend of Rita Pawreno’s.
Nell: Who is going to believe David is in love with her?
Me: Actually, Dave likes her a lot.
Nell: That’s because she and The Cat trained together at beauty school and he loves all that chitter chatter.
Me: She can dance.
Nell: Yes, but her singing voice leaves a lot to be desired.
Me: It is a little high.
Nell: Honestly, this production is getting out of hand. Ron Gilbert was on the phone just now.
Me: Was he?
Nell: Yes, barking away about lighting again. As if I care.
Me: Well, you agreed to be assistant director.
Nell: I don’t know how that happened. I must be mad.
Me: You will be wonderful.
Nell: Can you ask James to bring the car round, please? I’ve got a Bichon Frise and a Miniature Pinscher waiting to audition in Paignton and I can’t be late.
Me: Sharks, or Jets?
Nell: Small dogs, don’t be silly.