The Day Before The Wedding

Me: How are you all?

Nell: Could you put it down there, please?

Me: What?

Nell: I was just talking to Jeremy, our butler. He’s brought my Earl Grey. Thank you, Jeremy. David and Harriet will have the barley water. Shortbread would be lovely.

Me: They are certainly looking after you.

Nell: Did you get the photo? I was outside St. George’s Chapel. Windsor is awfully busy. I met some delightful Americans.

Me: Yes, lovely. How was the journey?

Nell: The picnic was excellent and a welcome distraction. We were followed by a group of greyhounds from the Daily Growl in a fast car. Racy lot. James managed to lose them.

Me: I bet the puppies loved that.

Nell: I’m afraid all this attention has gone to their heads. People keep asking for selfies. I think it’s David’s hat.

Me: Did you manage to see Harry and Meghan?

Nell: Yes, we shared a delicious jug of Pimms. Harriet was a little shy and David really wasn’t. He tried to hug them. So embarrassing.

Me: Oh dear. Were Poppy and Mutley ok?

Nell: Poppy had far too much to drink and talked sword fighting with Harry and Mutley reminisced with Meghan about his time in the United States.

Me: I didn’t know Mutley had been there.

Nell: Oh yes, he toured for a while with his swing band.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: Anyway, mobile phones are not allowed in the chapel so I will probably call you from the carriage tomorrow.

Me: The carriage?

Nell: Yes, it might be a little noisy.

Me: How exciting.

Nell: Now what have you done?

Me: Who me?

Nell: No. The puppies were practising waving and David has just knocked over a statue.

Me: Oh no!

Nell: Mutley says to tell you he is fine and his hat will cover the bump.

Me: What bump?

Nell: Harriet, don’t walk through the barley water, dear, you are treading it into the carpet. Can someone call Jeremy?

Me: Oh dear. It was just an accident. I’m sure Dave is awfully sorry.

Nell: David is not sorry he is scoffing the shortbread. Poppy, put the trumpet away, please, and help. I must go.

Me: But Nell, I’ve got so many questions.

Nell: They’ll have to wait. I’ve got so much to do before my audience with The Queen. You wouldn’t want me to be late now would you?

Me: Of course not. Sorry.

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