Me: Look at darling Marvin in the autumn leaves in Toronto.
Nell: There are certainly a lot of them.
Me: It’s mayoral election day there today.
Nell: Will Marvin be voting?
Me: Dogs can’t vote, Nell.
Nell: Don’t be silly.
Me: They can’t.
Nell: David was the Mayor of Kingsbridge for years.
Me: Except he wasn’t.
Nell: Yes, he was. You saw the Mayoral Chain and his feathered hat.
Me: He was for a while.
Nell: And could be again if he put his mind to it.
Me: Do you have elections up there?
Nell: Of course. Poppy is running for Guardian General.
Me: Gosh.
Nell: She won’t win.
Me: Why not?
Nell: She doesn’t have a beard.
Me: Does she need one?
Nell: The last Guardian General was a Bearded Collie and the one before that was a Giant Schnauzer.
Me: Do they change regularly?
Nell: The beards? Not really, apart from the occasional trim.
Me: No. The Guardian Generals?
Nell: They do. You don’t want one animal serving for too long.
Me: Do they have eyebrows?
Nell: Yes, and four legs and a tail.
Me: Very droll. I just wondered if eyebrows were a thing. Dave has long, wispy eyebrows.
Nell: David was an excellent mayor.
Me: He was, but I think he’s happy being retired.
Nell: Retired?
Me: Leading a quieter life.
Nell: Utter nonsense. David loves nothing more than attention.
Me: True. He received a standing ovation for his performance of ‘Singing in the Rain’ at Sunday Songs yesterday.
Nell: I’m not surprised.
Me: Everyone got awfully wet, though.
Nell: Were the llamas wearing Wellington boots?
Me: Yes, and twirling umbrellas.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: I think Poppy would make a fierce Guardian General.
Nell: Which is exactly why she shouldn’t be elected.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
