Me: I know you are busy, Nell, but do you have time for a chat?

Nell: I was trying to rest. Who has taken my phone? It was charging.

Me: Are you expecting a call?

Nell: Not particularly. It was probably Harriet as she is fielding calls for me at the moment.

Me: I could do that.

Nell: I don’t think so. What did you want to discuss?

Me: I was just thinking about wedding invitations. Just randomly. You know how it is.

Nell: What a surprise.

Me: Well, you know the way they write your name on the invitation plus one if you haven’t got a one?

Nell: Do they?

Me: Yes. And I wondered if you had a plus one who you would take?

Nell: If you haven’t got a one why would they write plus one?

Me: Well, you might have a one but they don’t know who it is.

Nell: If you are referring to the Royal Wedding you are barking up the wrong tree.

Me: Why?

Nell: Harry and Meghan know everyone they are inviting and it’s not you.

Me: I know that.

Nell: The invitations have gone out and there are only 600 of them.

Me: It’s just I know they are inviting members of the public.

Nell: Yes. I completely agreed with them when they asked my advice. It is their wedding and their decision.

Me: They asked your advice?

Nell: Yes. People do, you know. I told them Theresa would understand but I wasn’t sure about Donald. But then nobody is.

Me: Don’t you think you should get your phone back from Harriet? I mean, they might call.

Nell: No need.

Me: Are you sure?

Nell: Yes, we aren’t Skyping until later.

Me: Will it be this evening then?

Nell: Of course not. It’s the Eurovision Song Contest. I’m not going to miss Graham Norton.

Me: Yes, sorry.

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