Me: I know you are busy, Nell, but do you have time for a chat?
Nell: I was trying to rest. Who has taken my phone? It was charging.
Me: Are you expecting a call?
Nell: Not particularly. It was probably Harriet as she is fielding calls for me at the moment.
Me: I could do that.
Nell: I don’t think so. What did you want to discuss?
Me: I was just thinking about wedding invitations. Just randomly. You know how it is.
Nell: What a surprise.
Me: Well, you know the way they write your name on the invitation plus one if you haven’t got a one?
Nell: Do they?
Me: Yes. And I wondered if you had a plus one who you would take?
Nell: If you haven’t got a one why would they write plus one?
Me: Well, you might have a one but they don’t know who it is.
Nell: If you are referring to the Royal Wedding you are barking up the wrong tree.
Nell: Harry and Meghan know everyone they are inviting and it’s not you.
Me: I know that.
Nell: The invitations have gone out and there are only 600 of them.
Me: It’s just I know they are inviting members of the public.
Nell: Yes. I completely agreed with them when they asked my advice. It is their wedding and their decision.
Me: They asked your advice?
Nell: Yes. People do, you know. I told them Theresa would understand but I wasn’t sure about Donald. But then nobody is.
Me: Don’t you think you should get your phone back from Harriet? I mean, they might call.
Nell: No need.
Me: Are you sure?
Nell: Yes, we aren’t Skyping until later.
Me: Will it be this evening then?
Nell: Of course not. It’s the Eurovision Song Contest. I’m not going to miss Graham Norton.
Me: Yes, sorry.