Warning bark

Me: What on earth happened at the pub yesterday?

Nell: Kev and I were enjoying a quiet drink when he spotted a suspicious Border Terrier hovering behind me. I hadn’t noticed it because I was trying to decide between the steak, or the fish.

Me: Oh dear. Why was it suspicious?

Nell: It was wearing sunglasses and taking photos on its iPhone. I think the Daily Growl is behind this. Everything points to their underhand tactics.

Me: What a nuisance. Maybe it was just a tourist. They usually wear sunglasses.

Nell: No. Poppy saw it walking the fields with the farm dogs a few days ago. She has an excellent pair of binoculars.

Me: But Poppy wasn’t at the pub.

Nell: Kev sent her a photo. David was all for rushing round but that wouldn’t have helped.

Me: What did you do?

Nell: We ignored it for a while but then I decided a warning bark would be best.

Me: Your warning bark is awfully loud, Nell.

Nell: It did the trick. The Border Terrier bolted and I was able to enjoy my dinner in peace.

Me: I’m not sure everyone appreciated your warning bark.

Nell: True, Kev wasn’t best pleased but it had to be done. As I was saying to Harry and Meghan the last time we spoke. You cannot let the paparazzi rule your lives.

Me: Harry and Meghan? I didn’t know they knew you.

Nell: There’s a lot you don’t know. And don’t start fishing for details of the wedding plans. My lips are sealed.

Me: Ok, sorry.

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