Me: No. You can’t do this! Harriet is innocent.
Nell: I asked you if you saw a disturbance near Fido and you said Harriet was jumping up excitedly.
Me: Yes, because we were going for a walk on the beach and Harriet was excited because she loves the sea so much and Fido sits by the gate.
Nell: David was excited too. We all were.
Me: Yes. Exactly.
Nell: But David didn’t jump.
Me: No, because he just looks over the top of the gate. He’s taller than me when he stands up on two legs. Harriet has to jump to see anything. It’s not easy when you’re short.
Nell: Nobody has to jump. She has been warned not to.
Me: Wait. Don’t you remember Fido lost his head in Oxfordshire? Before we moved down to Devon. A ball hit him.
Nell: You are right. Kev fixed him temporarily.
Me: Exactly, so even a light jump could have caused this.
Nell: What is a light jump?
Me: A jump of delight.
Nell: On mature reflection I will accept that this was an accident and not premeditated. Harriet will not face jail but there must be no jumping. Light or otherwise.
Me: Good luck with that.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: It’s ever so hard not to jump when you’re excited. I even find myself giving a little skip of joy now and again. Just now for instance because Harriet can go free.
Nell: A little skip of joy? How excited were you about the beach?
Me: Very. I love the sea just like Harriet.
Nell: Did you give a skip of joy near Fido?
Me: I might have done. We were all by the gate.
Nell: I put it to you that your skip of joy resulted in the decapitation of Fido and that you, not poor little Harriet, are responsible.
Me: I suppose it might have been me. It was an accident either way and Kev will fix it. No harm done.
Nell: Tell that to Fido.
Me: He will be fine. He has his head screwed on.
Nell: Stop.
Me: Don’t bite my head off.
Nell: Not funny.
Me: Sorry.
