Me: Would you like a chat? I thought you might be feeling a little down after the shock of yesterday.
Nell: Don’t talk to me. I’m resting my eyes.
Me: I’m afraid Stanley Smoochy was a bit of a surprise, wasn’t he?
Nell: A bit of a surprise? I was expecting a Cane Corso, or at least an Italian Greyhound, not a tiny little seagull in a chef’s hat and Italian apron wearing spectacles.
Me: Trendy spectacles. I was expecting an Italian-American cocktail-making film star.
Nell: Why?
Me: Never mind. Anyway, after the initial shock I realised Stanley is actually awfully sweet and friendly. Not that I could understand much of what he was saying.
Nell: But what about the future of the Spaghetti Bolognese Club?
Me: It can still keep going. Stanley seems happy to cook for you all.
Nell: Stanley is not to be trusted.
Me: It’s not his fault he has an evil older brother.
Nell: The shock when Susan came running in and said ‘Uncle Stanley! What are you doing here?’
Me: Yes, that was a blow. I know Susan is a seagull and married to Malcolm the flamingo but I keep forgetting she’s Stephen Seagull’s estranged daughter.
Nell: Which means the Italian is not only a Beefy but he’s also Stephen Seagull’s little brother.
Me: I don’t think he and Stephen are very close and you can’t choose your family, Nell..
Nell: He’s staying at Stephen’s apartment at the Stately Home. The Cat’s seen him on the balcony hanging out spaghetti.
Me: I beg your pardon?
Nell: That’s what you do with pasta. Hang it out to dry.
Me: But it’s been raining.
Nell: That’s not the point.
Me: No. You’re right. The balcony is probably covered.
Nell: Stop worrying about the pasta.
Me: Sorry.
