Me: Dave’s looking a little serious this morning. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Do you know why?
Nell: Perhaps you should have attended Morning Thoughts this morning.
Me: I’m never at Morning Thoughts. It’s my writing time.
Nell: You might need to reconsider that in future.
Me: Why? Was I missed?
Nell: There was quite a heated discussion about David’s Chair.
Me: David’s Chair?
Nell: You’re doing that repeating thing again.
Me: Dave doesn’t have a chair.
Nell: He said you would say that.
Me: He doesn’t. He shares my chair.
Nell: He said you would say that, too.
Me: It’s the truth.
Nell: Whatever. Do you agree that David sits in it?
Me: Yes.
Nell: With, or without you?
Me: Yes. Sometimes Nigel does, too.
Nell: Don’t bring Nigel into this, please.
Me: Why not?
Nell: It’s a sensitive subject.
Me: I don’t mind if Nigel sits in my chair now and again.
Nell: And there we have it.
Me: Have what?
Nell: The whole problem.
Me: What problem?
Nell: You see David’s Chair as your chair and we know it’s his.
Me: It’s my chair, Nell. Kev and I chose it because there’s plenty of room for Dave to sit on it with me but it’s still mine.
Nell: Is it though?
Me: Yes.
Nell: It has come to our notice that you have been trying to squeeze David out of his own chair.
Me: What?
Nell: Using cushions.
Me: I need them for my back.
Nell: He has hardly any room at all.
Me: He has plenty of room.
Nell: We have evidence.
Me: This is nonsense.
Nell: Fortunately David is a forgiving animal and still happy to share his chair with you.
Me: That’s a relief.
Nell: Fewer cushions in future though, please.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
