Me: Come and look at Dave. He’s wearing his favourite toy.
Nell: Has he put it over his head again?
Me: Yes, and he’s walking around proudly. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy,
Nell: Ridiculous Boy.
Me: I think he looks adorable.
Nell: He’ll do anything for attention.
Me: You’re the same.
Nell: I beg your pardon? When have I ever worn a horrible rubber ring on my head?
Me: You’re always barking orders.
Nell: Only because nobody listens. Do you realise it’s only just over two weeks until the family arrive?
Me: I know. It’s very exciting.
Nell: There’s still so much to do.
Me: Don’t worry.
Nell: We’ve fixed the Christmas wreath to the front door but where’s the Christmas tree?
Me: We’re going to choose one this weekend.
Nell: Make sure it’s a nice shape and not too tall. The living room is a lot smaller than our old one.
Me: Kev usually chooses the tree. It speaks to him.
Nell: What nonsense.
Me: He says it speaks to him every year.
Nell: I see, if Kev said it then it must be true.
Me: But not if I say it?
Nell: You have far too much imagination for your own good.
Me: And Kev doesn’t?
Nell: He keeps his under control.
Me: You’re such a Daddy’s girl, Nell.
Nell: Moving on, Herr Hoffmann is taking Frau Hoffmann out to dinner this evening so David will be cooking with the help of Manuel and Malcolm.
Me: I’m not sure that’s a good idea.
Nell: David has been training as a sous chef for years.
Me: Is that what you call it?
Nell: Yes, there’s been some Eating by Mistake but he’s learnt a lot.
Me: What are we having?
Nell: Burgers.
Me: Takeaway?
Nell: Certainly not.
Me: Sorry.
