Me: Dave’s sitting in my chair again like a person.
Nell: What are you talking about?
Me: It’s adorable. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: He shouldn’t be sitting anywhere. It’s his turn to go shopping with Malcolm and Manuel for the weekend.
Me: He’s probably tired. Can’t somebody else go?
Nell: No. They need someone tall to push the trolley around Barks and Spencer.
Me: I’m sure Beauregard would oblige.
Nell: You can’t have a tiger pushing a trolley in a supermarket. Try and be a little realistic, please.
Me: I don’t see why a tiger is so different to a Labrador.
Nell: Have you seen the effect Beauregard has on people?
Me: They don’t run away anymore.
Nell: Not here in the village. They’re used to him and Mrs King. Not to mention Lionel.
Me: It’s funny to think Mrs King used to be married to Lionel.
Nell: That was a long time ago.
Me: I suppose animals can make mistakes.
Nell: Ask David. He knows all about that.
Me: Elsie the Chocolate Lab came to call for him, yesterday. She wanted to know if he could come out to play.
Nell: David is a mature Labrador. His playing days are over.
Me: They spent the whole afternoon together and had tremendous fun running around and doing zoomies.
Nell: David doesn’t do zoomies. Zoomies are Harriet’s thing.
Me: He does now.
Nell: No wonder he’s tired today.
Me: They’re just friends.
Nell: I don’t believe it.
Me: It’s true.
Nell: No, look. Is that Beefy carrying a bowl?
Me: It is. Now that’s Skilled Flying.
Nell: Never mind Skilled Flying. It’s a treacle sponge pudding.
Me: Everyone loves a sponge pudding. It’s perfect for this time of year.
Nell: That’s not the point. It’s ours.
Me: Oh. Sorry.
