Me: You’re not going to believe this.
Nell: You’re right. I probably won’t.
Me: Seriously. Have a look at the photo someone sent me.
Nell: It’s just Lionel King walking through the village with Bobby Socks. Nothing we haven’t seen before.
Me: They look rather good together, don’t they?
Nell: That’s a matter of opinion.
Me: They’re both autumn-coloured like Harriet.
Nell: They’re nothing like Harriet and the colours are more sandy and African than autumnal.
Me: Oh yes. I see what you mean.
Nell: What is so unbelievable?
Me: Look more closely.
Nell: Fetch my reading glasses. They’re in my handbag.
Me: Here, can you see now?
Nell: Yes. Lionel’s almost bigger than Bobby. I don’t know how she manages to carry him around.
Me: Never mind that. Look at his face and mane.
Nell: It’s not tangled, if that’s what you’re talking about.
Me: No. Lionel is covered in crumbs.
Nell: He’s probably been eating a baguette, or a crunchy roll. It happens to me all the time.
Me: Or, could it be apple crumble?
Nell: Apple crumble?
Me: Yes. Is Lionel King The Crumble Thief?
Nell: For goodness sake, are you trying to tell me than an animal can’t walk around with a few crumbs on his face without being accused of thievery?
Me: Yes.
Nell: Well, David’s in trouble then. He’s rarely crumbless. Who sent you the photo?
Me: I don’t know. I didn’t recognise the number.
Nell: Interesting. Perhaps we should forward it to Sally? Something is definitely going on.
Me: I knew I was right about that wretched lion. I knew he was a bad animal.
Nell: I disagree. In my opinion someone is trying to frame him.
Me: Nonsense. He has Guilt crumbled all over his forehead. You just can’t accept it. Sorry.
