Me: You’re looking nonchalant now but Harriet was telling you something very important earlier, wasn’t she?
Nell: Was she?
Me: Yes. I could tell from her face. What was it?
Nell: Maybe it was that we should never invite an albatross to Sunday lunch again? Did you see it drinking out of the gravy boat?
Me: Adam was ever so much larger than I expected.
Nell: New Zealanders have slightly odd ways, don’t they?
Me: What do you mean?
Nell: It kept talking about fush and chups.
Me: He meant fish and chips and I wish you wouldn’t call Adam ‘it’.
Nell: You don’t discuss fish and chips at a roast beef lunch.
Me: I don’t see why not.
Nell: And when I asked if it wanted horseradish sauce it said, ‘yeah, nah’.
Me: Maybe he was undecided?
Nell: It definitely meant no as it shook its beak at me.
Me: Manuel was terrified of him.
Nell: If you were an octopus and a giant albatross was talking about fish and chips you’d feel nervous.
Me: He didn’t say octopus and chips.
Nell: It didn’t need to.
Me: I suppose it’s like me sitting next to a lion.
Nell: You were sitting next to a lion.
Me: Mrs King isn’t going to eat me.
Nell: No, but she could if she wanted to.
Me: I’d rather not think about that, thank you.
Nell: So would Manuel.
Me: Anyway, lunch went well in the main.
Nell: It did.
Me: Did Nigel have any interesting information about Lady Anwen’s dinner?
Nell: I’ve no idea.
Me: I bet you do. He’s spoken to Harriet, hasn’t he?
Nell: Probably.
Me: And she’s spoken to you.
Nell: Of course she’s spoken to me. I’m her aunt, she’s not going to ignore me.
Me: True. Sorry.
