Nell: Just so you know, Naughty Nigel’s sofa privileges have been taken away.
Me: What does that mean?
Nell: If you see him on the sofa, please tell him to get off.
Me: But Dave can sleep on there?
Nell: David has done nothing wrong. Yet, I hasten to add.
Me: I had a strange dream about Nigel last night.
Nell: It’s Naughty Nigel.
Me: He was an estate agent, or realtor as they say in North America.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: And not a very good one.
Nell: Why?
Me: He kept eating the furniture.
Nell: Most rude.
Me: The owners of the houses thought so.
Nell: Was I there?
Me: No, You and Knitwear Wolf were away on your honeymoon.
Nell: We’ve only just got engaged. The honeymoon is ages away.
Me: What did you just say?
Nell: Nothing.
Me: Yes, you did. I heard you.
Nell: I might have made a little joke.
Me: I don’t think it was a joke.
Nell: Of course it was.
Me: Rupert popped the question on Sunday, didn’t he?
Nell: No, he didn’t.
Me: I knew he was going to propose. I knew it.
Nell: Well, you were wrong.
Me: Oh no.
Nell: He proposed yesterday after I told him how I feel about him.
Me: Where?
Nell: In our disappointingly small garden by the bins in-between rain showers, if you must know.
Me: How romantic.
Nell: I thought so.
Me: Did he have an umbrella?
Nell: Of course, but that’s not the point.
Me: And a ring?
Nell: We’re not bulls. I have Rupert’s promise which is more than enough for me.
Me: Congratulations, Nell. I’m so happy.
Nell: Not a word about this until we’ve had the chance to tell everyone. I know what you’re like.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
