Nell: David and Nigel are pretending to be asleep to get out of laying the table.
Me: I don’t think they are pretending
Nell: Their eyes are open.
Me: You dogs do that even when you’re asleep. It’s most disconcerting.
Nell: I guarantee they will both be awake when Herr Hoffmann brings in the bacon sandwiches.
Me: They can clear the table and peel some vegetables.
Nell: David eats more carrots than he peels.
Me: Is he allowed to join in Sunday Songs today?
Nell: No. David and Nigel are going to watch from the window.
Me: Are NOIR and the Beefies after Nigel too?
Nell: No. Sally has given Nigel an important task which involves him staying close to David.
Me: How exciting. What is it?
Nell: Staying close to David.
Me: Yes, but what’s Nigel’s task?
Nell: I just told you. Nigel is David’s bodyguard.
Me: Oh, I see. Aren’t bodyguards supposed to be bigger than their clients?
Nell: It’s hard to find anyone bigger than David.
Me: True. Although Beauregard might have been a better choice.
Nell: Beauregard is busy. He’s performing ‘Tiger Feet’ at Sunday Songs.
Me: Dave loves that song and now he’ll have to watch it from the window all alone. Poor darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: He isn’t alone. Nigel is with him. Do you ever listen to anything I say?
Me: Is he going to have to eat his Sunday roast alone, too?
Nell: Of course not. He is perfectly safe inside the house.
Me: That rook called again, by the way?
Nell: What?
Me: It asked to speak to David Martin.
Nell: You didn’t put David on the phone, did you?
Me: No. I said he was unavailable.
Nell: You should have said he wasn’t there.
Me: Oh yes. Sorry.
