Me: You know we were discussing your behaviour at the Dog and Dash activity field yesterday?

Nell: Yes. You said I was adorable.

Me: That was one of the things I said, and you are indeed adorable, but there was something I forgot to mention.

Nell: What?

Me: Nobody else was allowed in the semicircle.

Nell: Weren’t they?

Me: Dave tried several times and had to stay on the outside looking in. Poor Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: I didn’t notice.

Me: Yes, you did. You gave him one of your hard stares.

Nell: You came into my semicircle. You sat on one of the tree trunks.

Me: I was only allowed in because you knew I would give you a biscuit.

Nell: Talking of biscuits, do you think you could bring a flask of Earl Grey with you next time? And maybe a few scones, or a piece of lemon drizzle cake and a selection of sandwiches, crusts off?

Me: It’s an activity field, Nell.

Nell: Conversation is an activity. So is afternoon tea, if you think about it.

Me: The thing is, you can’t shut the others out of the semicircle.

Nell: They’re welcome to join me in my semicircle if they have the password.

Me: What password?

Nell: I can’t possibly say.

Me: Did you just tap your nose with your paw?

Nell: I may have done.

Me: Is that all they have to do?

Nell: Maybe. It changes. I need to keep my semicircle safe.

Me: It isn’t actually your semicircle.

Nell: David thinks it is.

Me: I know he does.

Nell: And so do all the others.

Me: I suppose I should feel honoured to be allowed into your semicircle.

Nell: Yes. Just don’t forget the flask of Earl Grey next time.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: Do you know what makes me smile the most when we’re in the Dog and Dash activity field?

Nell: The view?

Me: It’s beautiful, but it’s not that.

Nell: Watching everyone run around freely?

Me: Lovely to see, but it’s not that, either.

Nell: The peace and quiet of the countryside?

Me: Nope.

Nell: I know what’s coming.

Me: Do you?

Nell: Yes. It’s ridiculous.

Me: Is it?

Nell: You’re going to say it’s me sitting in the semicircle.

Me: It is. You plonk yourself down there and refuse to move. And your face is a picture when we say it’s time to go home.

Nell: I’m not ready to go.

Me: You’re never ready.

Nell: I don’t like to be rushed.

Me: We all start walking and you just sit there.

Nell: I like to take my time.

Me: And you’ll only start moving if we offer you a biscuit.

Nell: The least you can do is share.

Me: You’re a stubborn old thing and I adore you.

Nell: I’m not stubborn. I’m strong-willed.

Me: You’re adorable.

Nell: I’m glad you think so.

Me: I’m not the only one. Did I see Knitwear Wolf with flowers this morning?

Nell: Rupert brought me some winter blooms to brighten my day.

Me: He’s such a kind and thoughtful wolf.

Nell: He is.

Me: And so handsome in his oatmeal fisherman’s sweater.

Nell: It’s part of the new Knitwear Wolf range. Sally is thinking of buying one for David.

Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy would look wonderful in a fisherman’s sweater.

Nell: Fortunately they come in all sizes.

Me: I hope they have a Giant Labrador size.

Nell: They cater for everyone.

Me: Even Henry and Horst?

Nell: Woodlice only wear tank tops. Do keep up.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Did I see Harriet hiding in the long grass near the beach with an insect on her head?

Nell: No. She’s away on business. Remember?

Me: It was definitely a chocolate Labrador and it looked like Harriet.

Nell: Well, it wasn’t.

Me: It had Harriet’s face.

Nell: You’re seeing things again.

Me: I wonder why she didn’t come out to say hello.

Nell: Fine. There’s obviously no way of convincing you it wasn’t Harriet.

Me: Because it was her.

Nell: So, what do you think it means when we say Harriet is away on business?

Me: She’s got some business to attend to?

Nell: And what kind of business would that be?

Me: She’s probably on some kind of spying mission for Sally?

Nell: Exactly. And what do spies do?

Me: Spy?

Nell: And do they do that in full view of everyone?

Me: Not usually. They wear dark glasses, and long raincoats and hide around corners speaking into secret microphones in their coat lapels.

Nell: Good grief. Back in the real world what actually happens?

Me: They hide in the long grass with a woodlouse on their head?

Nell: Yes. Harriet is out on a mission with Henry.

Me: I knew it.

Nell: How many times do I need to remind you that we do not draw attention to any kind of spying?

Me: I was only talking to you.

Nell: You were using your Loud and Excited voice.

Me: But I’m wearing my all-encasing hat so nobody can hear me.

Nell: No. You can’t hear them. That’s why you’re so loud.

Me: Oh yes. I got it the wrong way around.

Nell: You often do. Now, did we see Harriet?

Me: No. And we didn’t see Henry on her head either.

Nell: I give up.

Me: Sorry.

Me: Do you know what I realise when I look at the photos of us on the beach?

Nell: How far we walked?

Me: No, but we really did, didn’t we?

Nell: How much you have to say?

Me: I do like to chat with you.

Nell: I know.

Me: I mean, I knew I did, but I hadn’t realised quite how much.

Nell: I had.

Me: What I really noticed is how very close we are.

Nell: You and me?

Me: Yes. I’m normally behind the camera.

Nell: It’s where you like to be.

Me: It is, but now and again it’s good to see things from a different perspective.

Nell: It certainly is.

Me: I know you keep an eye on me, but I keep an eye on you, too.

Nell: We look after each other.

Me: We do. And it’s lovely to see.

Nell: It’s lovely to experience. Anyway, enough of all that. I wanted you to know that Rupert spoke to Nigel.

Me: What about?

Nell: Harriet. She asked him to explain things to Nigel. Wolf to Labrador.

Me: What things?

Nell: Nigel is infatuated with Harriet.

Me: I know.

Nell: Harriet doesn’t feel the same way. Her heart still belongs to Jim the Farm Dog.

Me: I thought it might. It must have been difficult for Nigel to hear.

Nell: Rupert was calm but firm.

Me: Did he give Nigel a cardigan?

Nell: No, a woolly hat was more than enough.

Me: Did Nigel see sense?

Nell: Eventually. He’s a little low.

Me: Maybe Dorothy can comfort him?

Nell: My Friend Dorothy is not a consolation prize.

Me: Of course not. Harriet and Nigel can still be best friends like us.

Nell: You and I are much more than that.

Me: Yes, we are. Sorry.

Me: Why are you three under the table and how did Dave manage to make himself so small?

Nell: Never mind that. We need to talk about Nigel.

Me: Why do we need to talk about Nigel?

Nell: About Nigel and Harriet, to be exact.

Me: What about Nigel and Harriet?

Nell: As you may know, Nigel has been walking out with My Friend Dorothy for quite some time.

Me: Walking out? They’ve been dating for years.

Nell: Anyway, recently Dorothy noticed a certain distance and cooling off between herself and the aforementioned Yellow Labrador.

Me: Are we still talking about Nigel?

Nell: Yes. I told you that’s what we needed to do.

Me: Just checking.

Nell: She asked me to see if I could find out why.

Me: Why didn’t she ask Nigel herself?

Nell: She rarely sees him anymore.

Me: Did you ask him?

Nell: I didn’t need to. The answer was obvious when I found him playing Tippy-Tappy Toes.

Me: Tippy-Tappy Toes?

Nell: Yes. With Harriet.

Me: What on earth is Tippy-Tappy Toes?

Nell: You know exactly what it is.

Me: I do not.

Nell: David and Sally play it all the time.

Me: Do they?

Nell: One animal lies on their back with their legs in the air and the other taps their toes gently with their paws, or sometimes their nose.

Me: Oh yes. It’s a sweet game.

Nell: Nigel shouldn’t be playing it with Harriet.

Me: They’re best friends, Nell. They love each other.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: Oh. Do you think they really do?

Nell: To be fair to Harriet, I think she’s just being kind, but Nigel is definitely smitten.

Me: Come to think of it, he does follow her around like a lovesick puppy.

Nell: You see the problem?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: You know Nigel thinks the Yellow Chair is his, don’t you?

Me: Well, it is, in a way.

Nell: Why?

Me: Charlotte gave it to us. Remember?

Nell: That was years ago.

Me: You don’t even use it much anymore. You prefer the big old chair because it’s easier to jump onto.

Nell: The Yellow Chair is there to be shared.

Me: I think it might be best to let sleeping dogs lie.

Nell: I wasn’t telling you to wake him up. He and Harriet are both exhausted.

Me: Yes, I noticed that.

Nell: They’ve been on Insect Watch all night with Henry and Horst.

Me: Why?

Nell: Let’s just say it might be time for Anthony Aardvark to move on.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: We can’t have visitors eating the residents.

Me: No. It’s completely unacceptable.

Nell: We discussed it at Morning Thoughts and Rupert is taking Anthony to the station later this morning on his motorbike.

Me: Where will he go?

Nell: In the sidecar.

Me: No. I meant from here?

Nell: He has an aunt in Exeter he hasn’t seen in a while. He’ll be fine.

Me: Exeter is a lovely city. It has an excellent university.

Nell: Anthony is on a gap year. He’s not looking for somewhere to study.

Me: No. Of course not.

Nell: Now, it’s Monday so I’m presuming you’re off to the gym.

Me: I am.

Nell: Try not to overdo it again. You’re nearly a pensioner, you know.

Me: Thank you for reminding me. Actually, it’s my writer friend Anne’s birthday today, so I thought I’d wish her a very Happy Birthday.

Nell: Happy Birthday Anne from us all. No high kicks, please.

Me: Anne doesn’t do high kicks.

Nell: I’m talking about you at the gym.

Me: Right. Sorry.

Me: There’s something truly uplifting about calling a dog’s name and seeing it running towards you.

Nell: Did you say something?

Me: I was talking about calling Harriet’s name. She turns on a sixpence when we say it. She’s such a good girl.

Nell: Are you offering Harriet money?

Me: I said she turns on a sixpence. It means turns quickly.

Nell: Does it?

Me: If we were paying you dogs for listening you wouldn’t do very well.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: When we’re out you rarely listen to me at all.

Nell: That’s because I have to listen to you all the time when we’re at home. Everyone’s entitled to a break.

Me: You like to go your own way and you like to take your time.

Nell: I’m an elderly lady Labrador. I shall take as much time as I need.

Me: Fair enough.

Nell: Now, it’s Sunday and I know everyone is hoping for a roast, but due to soup kitchen commitments Herr Hoffmann is preparing goulash.

Me: I always enjoy his goulash.

Nell: Yes, and it can be cooked in advance and eaten in a bowl.

Me: That makes sense.

Nell: It is being served with homemade spaetzle.

Me: I love German pasta.

Nell: David is trying his paw at making it, under Herr Hoffmann’s guidance, so it might not be perfect.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. We don’t need perfect.

Nell: The good thing is it’s filling and can be shared by everyone.

Me: It seems 2025 is all about Sharing.

Nell: Yes. Would you like to share my umbrella? Sunday Songs is beginning soon and it’s started to rain.

Me: I’d share anything with you, Nell.

Nell: I know. Don’t forget your all-encasing hat. It’s cold out there.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: I woke up this morning to Dave actually standing over me watching the door.

Nell: That’s not very helpful.

Me: No, it isn’t.

Nell: How’s he going to keep you warm like that?

Me: Why was he watching the door?

Nell: So many questions.

Me: No, but really. Why is Dave watching the door?

Nell: He doesn’t want any of our unexpected guests coming upstairs.

Me: What unexpected guests?

Nell: Some of them stayed on after they finished their soup.

Me: I noticed a few Welsh corgis in cardigans sleeping on the sofa, but nobody else.

Nell: They’re mainly creatures of the dark. They don’t want to be noticed.

Me: We haven’t got bats, have we?

Nell: If you’re referring to Bruce and his team, they were here before we were.

Me: Who are these creatures of the night?

Nell: Just nocturnal animals like hedgehogs, badgers, foxes and aardvarks.

Me: Aardvarks?

Nell: Actually, there’s only one. Anthony.

Me: Anthony?

Nell: You’re doing that repeating thing again.

Me: Are you telling me we have an aardvark called Anthony staying with us?

Nell: It’s only temporary. He’s on a gap year.

Me: We don’t have aardvarks in Devon.

Nell: Some might say we don’t have tigers, either.

Me: Beauregard is part of the family.

Nell: And Anthony is passing through.

Me: Doesn’t he eat ants?

Nell: Just because his name starts with Ant doesn’t mean he eats them.

Me: But he does.

Nell: Yes.

Me: How are the ants feeling about that?

Nell: There’s been a little unrest in the insect community but Henry and Horst are dealing with it.

Me: I don’t blame Dave for watching the door. Goodness only knows who’s going to walk in next.

Nell: Just finish your writing. We have everything under control.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: We had a wonderful time on the beach, didn’t we?

Nell: It was absolutely freezing.

Me: I know, but the sun was shining and the sky was blue.

Nell: Kev shouldn’t have been out of bed.

Me: I agree, but he won’t listen. It was lovely to see so many families and dogs out and about enjoying themselves.

Nell: Yes, the sun certainly makes a difference even if it’s cold.

Me: Talking of cold, we’ve had a government amber cold weather health warning for the next few days, especially for people over 65.

Nell: What about dogs over 12?

Me: You’re definitely included.

Nell: What does it mean?

Me: Temperatures are going to drop below freezing, so we need to make sure we are safe and warm and check on others who might be at risk.

Nell: David’s already on the case.

Me: Is he?

Nell: Haven’t you noticed the Cuddling has increased?

Me: He’s keeping very close to me.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: A little too close at times.It’s like sharing the bed with a small pony.

Nell: A warm small pony.

Me: Yes. He definitely keeps me warm.

Nell: David comes into his own in cold weather. We found two Welsh corgis and a passing spaniel in his bed yesterday.

Me: What was the spaniel doing there?

Nell: I have no idea. Looking for warmth, I presume.

Me: Fair enough.

Nell: Herr Hoffmann has opened a soup kitchen, by the way.

Me: Here?

Nell: Yes. Any animal, or human come to that, in need of warmth and sustenance will be given a bowl of hot soup.

Me: That’s awfully kind of him, but what if he is inundated?

Nell: We will cope. I expect to see you chopping vegetables as soon as you’ve finished writing.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Can I just point out that those photos are most unflattering.

Me: I love the way your ears are blowing in the wind.

Nell: I look like a German Shepherd.

Me: You do not. Talking of German Shepherds, do you still think of Charlie?

Nell: Of course I do. Charlie was my first great love.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Poppy says he’s fine and waiting for us to be reunited when I’m ready to join him as a Guardian.

Me: I don’t want to think about that.

Nell: Then don’t, but you can be assured that I will be safe and loved and watching your every move.

Me: That’s comforting to know.

Nell: Exactly. Now, Kev has a nasty cold and is not feeling well at all, so Herr Hoffmann is busy preparing a second pot of nourishing soup.

Me: What happened to the first?

Nell: David taste tested the first one a little too thoroughly.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: He said he wasn’t quite sure about the seasoning.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He likes things to be just right.

Nell: He likes a full tummy.

Me: Don’t we all?

Nell: No. This year it’s healthy eating and healthy living.

Me: Sounds good. Does this mean no cake in the afternoon?

Nell: Don’t be silly. Cake is an essential. You’ll be asking me to give up my cup of Earl Grey next.

Me: Which reminds me to say a huge thank you to all of you who kindly bought us a cup of Earl Grey. We really appreciate it and it truly makes a difference to our small economy.

Nell: Yes, it does. Thank you.

Me: All this talk of tea makes we want a cup.

Nell: It’s waiting for you by the fire.

Me: Of course. Sorry.