Me: Did I see Harriet hiding in the long grass near the beach with an insect on her head?
Nell: No. She’s away on business. Remember?
Me: It was definitely a chocolate Labrador and it looked like Harriet.
Nell: Well, it wasn’t.
Me: It had Harriet’s face.
Nell: You’re seeing things again.
Me: I wonder why she didn’t come out to say hello.
Nell: Fine. There’s obviously no way of convincing you it wasn’t Harriet.
Me: Because it was her.
Nell: So, what do you think it means when we say Harriet is away on business?
Me: She’s got some business to attend to?
Nell: And what kind of business would that be?
Me: She’s probably on some kind of spying mission for Sally?
Nell: Exactly. And what do spies do?
Me: Spy?
Nell: And do they do that in full view of everyone?
Me: Not usually. They wear dark glasses, and long raincoats and hide around corners speaking into secret microphones in their coat lapels.
Nell: Good grief. Back in the real world what actually happens?
Me: They hide in the long grass with a woodlouse on their head?
Nell: Yes. Harriet is out on a mission with Henry.
Me: I knew it.
Nell: How many times do I need to remind you that we do not draw attention to any kind of spying?
Me: I was only talking to you.
Nell: You were using your Loud and Excited voice.
Me: But I’m wearing my all-encasing hat so nobody can hear me.
Nell: No. You can’t hear them. That’s why you’re so loud.
Me: Oh yes. I got it the wrong way around.
Nell: You often do. Now, did we see Harriet?
Me: No. And we didn’t see Henry on her head either.
Nell: I give up.
Me: Sorry.
