Me: Why are you three under the table and how did Dave manage to make himself so small?
Nell: Never mind that. We need to talk about Nigel.
Me: Why do we need to talk about Nigel?
Nell: About Nigel and Harriet, to be exact.
Me: What about Nigel and Harriet?
Nell: As you may know, Nigel has been walking out with My Friend Dorothy for quite some time.
Me: Walking out? They’ve been dating for years.
Nell: Anyway, recently Dorothy noticed a certain distance and cooling off between herself and the aforementioned Yellow Labrador.
Me: Are we still talking about Nigel?
Nell: Yes. I told you that’s what we needed to do.
Me: Just checking.
Nell: She asked me to see if I could find out why.
Me: Why didn’t she ask Nigel herself?
Nell: She rarely sees him anymore.
Me: Did you ask him?
Nell: I didn’t need to. The answer was obvious when I found him playing Tippy-Tappy Toes.
Me: Tippy-Tappy Toes?
Nell: Yes. With Harriet.
Me: What on earth is Tippy-Tappy Toes?
Nell: You know exactly what it is.
Me: I do not.
Nell: David and Sally play it all the time.
Me: Do they?
Nell: One animal lies on their back with their legs in the air and the other taps their toes gently with their paws, or sometimes their nose.
Me: Oh yes. It’s a sweet game.
Nell: Nigel shouldn’t be playing it with Harriet.
Me: They’re best friends, Nell. They love each other.
Nell: Exactly.
Me: Oh. Do you think they really do?
Nell: To be fair to Harriet, I think she’s just being kind, but Nigel is definitely smitten.
Me: Come to think of it, he does follow her around like a lovesick puppy.
Nell: You see the problem?
Me: Yes. Sorry.
