Nell: I think you should probably attend Morning Thoughts today.
Me: Why?
Nell: David is on trial.
Me: On trial?
Nell: Yes.
Me: Did he eat something by mistake?
Nell: This has nothing to do with food.
Me: It’s always to do with food when it comes to Dave.
Nell: Not this time.
Me: Did he cuddle the wrong person? He’s just affectionate. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: It’s not about Cuddles. Although, you’re closer.
Me: What on earth has he done? Tell me.
Nell: I would if you gave me the chance.
Me: It can’t be anything terrible. He’s such a sweet animal.
Nell: David boxed Nigel’s ears.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell; Why are you smiling?
Me: It’s something Poppy used to love doing.
Nell: Poppy never touched Nigel.
Me: One year she boxed the Easter Terrier’s ears good and proper.
Nell: This is not about Poppy.
Me: No. Why did Dave do it? He must have had a reason.
Nell: I’m afraid it appears David had no reason at all.
Me: I’m not buying that.
Nell: Maybe you would like to represent David at his trial?
Me: I will, if needed. Does Nigel have representation?
Nell: Yes. My friend Dorothy. She insisted.
Me: I don’t have a long, black gown, or a curly grey wig.
Nell: What are you talking about?
Me: I expect The Cat does in its Dressing Up Box. Who’s the judge?
Nell: I am, of course.
Me: You’ll need a curly, grey long wig.
Nell: Stop talking about wigs.
Me: Are you still having your hair fluffed by that poodle?
Nell: No. Nicky Barke has moved on. And it didn’t really suit me. But that’s not the point. The trial is beginning soon. You need to talk to the accused.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
