Me: Our Christmas tree looks lovely, doesn’t it? And there’s Nigel slinking past it.
Nell: It’s Naughty Nigel and Slinking is exactly what he’s doing.
Me: I thought we’d dropped the ‘Naughty‘?
Nell: It’s back. Do you still have the curly grey wig and black gown you borrowed from The Cat’s Dressing Up Box to defend David?
Me: No. I gave it back to The Cat after I won Dave his freedom.
Nell: David wasn’t going to jail. He would only have been issued with a reprimand.
Me: He was innocent. Nigel wanted to play and Dave merely tapped him gently on the face to tell him he wasn’t in the mood for games.
Nell: It wasn’t that gentle but, considering latest events, David was almost certainly provoked.
Me: What happened?
Nell: Naughty Nigel is on trial.
Me: For what?
Nell: Stealing leftovers from the food bin and Growling.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: Naughty Nigel asked Kev to let him out and when he didn’t come back Kev went to look and found him with his head in the food bin.
Me: How did he open it?
Nell: That’s not the point. Once inside, Naughty Nigel immediately went upstairs.
Me: That is Suspicious.
Nell: Yes, it was only 5:30pm.
Me: Far too early for bedtime.
Nell: Exactly. When asked to come downstairs and open his mouth the Suspect refused and Growled.
Me: Oh dear. Growling is not good.
Nell: Growling is Not Allowed.
Me: Yes. We really don’t like Growling here.
Nell: Especially when it’s directed at members of the family.
Me: How on earth do you want me to defend Nigel? He’s clearly guilty.
Nell: Yes, he is. But as he spent most of last night being sick, I feel punishment has already taken place.
Me: I see. Sorry.
