Me: Is there any particular reason why you dogs are watching the floor?
Nell: It’s Black Friday.
Me: I know. The Cuddle Nells have been reduced by 20%.
Nell: Good.
Me: The link is https://www.canterburybears.com/products/conversations-with-nell-handmade-dog.
Nell: Buy a Cuddle Nell for Christmas.
Me: Exactly. The perfect Christmas present. You’re still looking at the floor.
Nell: Of course we are. Weren’t you listening to me when I came back from afternoon tea at the Thurlestone Hotel?
Me: Not really. My mind was on other things.
Nell: It’s not only rooks and Beefies attending today’s conference.
Me: If you’re going to tell me it’s spiders I’m climbing on a chair right now.
Nell: Spiders?
Me: The way Harriet’s looking at the floor is exactly the way she looks when she’s seen a spider.
Nell: I can see what you mean.
Me: Is it spiders?
Nell: No. Although they’re probably around. Spiders enjoy the warmth of an open fire as much as anyone.
Me: Just tell me.
Nell: The NOIR confence has a very worrying guest speaker.
Me: Sven Gully?
Nell: Much worse.
Me: Who is it?
Nell: Cicely Sissinghurst.
Me: Cicely Sissinghurst?
Nell: That’s her name.
Me: From Kent?
Nell: I’ve no idea but she’s a snake.
Me: That’s a bit harsh, Nell.
Nell: A real snake.
Me: You obviously don’t like her.
Nell: A slithering poisonous snake.
Me: Are you saying Cicely Sissinghurst is an actual snake?
Nell: A spitting cobra to be exact.
Me: We had one of those in the coal shed in Africa. Terrifying thing.
Nell: Never mind Africa. Cicely’s here and we’ve reason to believe she’s not alone.
Me: When you say ‘here’ you don’t mean right here, do you?
Nell: Why do you think we’re looking at the floor?
Me: Then I’m out of here. Sorry.
