Nell: I can’t believe you forgot it was Marvin’s birthday yesterday.

Me: We all forgot.

Nell: Chris and Shannon didn’t.

Me: No, obviously not.

Nell: And neither did Marvin.

Me: No.

Nell: Poor young animal waiting to hear from us and hearing nothing.

Me: Don’t say that.

Nell: Not even a poem.

Me: You write the poems, Nell.

Nell: There we were tucking into roast beef and Yorkshire pudding while that poor little dog waited in vain for a sign.

Me: Stop that right now. Marvin had an absolutely wonderful day with Chris and Shannon. He went for a long walk and he had a special Birthday bone.

Nell: Yes, I was just teasing you. I FaceTimed with him as soon as I heard. He’s fine.

Me: I can’t believe he’s 5 already. It seems like yesterday that he was rescued.

Nell: The puppies are 7 on the 19th June, you know.

Me: Gosh. Yes, they are.

Nell: I’ve written a poem for Marvin, by the way.

Me: Really?

Nell: It’s only a short one. Would you like to hear it?

Me: Yes. Very much.

Nell: ‘Happy Birthday dear Marvin,

You wonderful boy.

We love you my darlin’

And send you much joy.’

Me: My darlin’?

Nell: He’s originally from Texas.

Me: I see.

Nell: May I continue?

Me: Of course.

Nell: ‘Everyone here

Wants me to say,

We’re sorry we forgot

Your important day.

Though that’s what we did

Please know this is true,

There’s never a moment

When we’d forget you.

You live in Toronto

A long ways away

But here in our hearts, bro,

Is where you will stay.’

Me: ‘Ways away’? And ‘bro’?

Nell: It’s Canadian and Chris says ‘bro’.

Me: Marvin’s going to love it.

Nell: Somebody had to step up.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Harriet’s spying on the stairs.

Nell: I know. Stop drawing attention to her.

Me: Who is she spying on?

Nell: Never you mind.

Me: She can see the front door, the back door and the kitchen from there.

Nell: Yes, she can.

Me: And anyone who goes up or down the stairs.

Nell: Obviously.

Me: If she stays up there too long, animals will notice.

Nell: They already have.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Herr Hoffmann asked if she would prefer her bacon roll served on the stairs.

Me: He’s a kind bear.

Nell: Yes, he is.

Me: What did she say?

Nell: ‘Thank you,’

Me: Enigmatic as always.

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: Thank you could mean yes, or no. Here in the UK it tends to mean yes, but in Germany, for instance, it means no.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: If you ask a German if they’d like another scone and they say ‘Danke’ don’t give them one.

Nell: I’ll remember that.

Me: There’s never any need to ask Dave. He’ll always have another one.

Nell: Have you quite finished? Sunday Songs is starting in a few minutes.

Me: Harriet can’t take part if she’s still sitting on the stairs.

Nell: She knows.

Me: She could have her lunch up there.

Nell: She could.

Me: Although it’s Sunday, so there’ll be gravy.

Nell: I’m sure she’ll manage.

Me: Did you know Frau Hoffmann put Lionel King on vegetables?

Nell: No.

Me: He’s making cauliflower cheese and he’s prepared all the potatoes, parsnips and carrots.

Nell: I’m starting to think you’re the one spying on the kitchen.

Me: No. I’ve finally got my appetite back and I’m really looking forward to a Sunday roast.

Nell: I see.

Me: Maybe Harriet is simply hungry.

Nell: Stop.

Me: Sorry.

Me: I’ve got a question for you and it might sound a little ridiculous.

Nell: Nothing new there.

Me: Could Dave’s legs be growing?

Nell: Don’t be ridiculous.

Me: I knew you would say that.

Nell: Why ask then?

Me: Because I went into the living room and he was lying on The Rug That Used To Be Lighter with a really long leg.

Nell: Just the one?

Me: The other one was tucked away. Harriet was looking bored and the Stuffed Tiger was looking sneaky.

Nell: It was probably just his post workout stretching exercises. Gladys recommends them.

Me: Oh, I see.

Nell: You can’t go anywhere in that field nowadays without stumbling over a stretching llama.

Me: Gosh. Well, he did look normal again when he sat up.

Nell: As for Harriet, she finds all this stretching extremely tedious. She much prefers a swim to a glide.

Me: Darling girl.

Nell: And the Stuffed Tiger is sneaky. I’ve been telling you this for months.

Me: At least there’s no danger of Dave turning into a giraffe.

Nell: David has sturdy legs. No amount of stretching is going to change that.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Moving on, at Morning Thoughts today Frau Hoffmann questioned the role of lions in the kitchen.

Me: Really?

Nell: I’m afraid she and Lionel are not getting on.

Me: Herr Hoffmann was fine with him.

Nell: Herr Hoffmann is a friend to the Beefies.

Me: That’s true.

Nell: He goes his own way.

Me: He does. Frau Hoffmann is obviously a completely different kettle of fish.

Nell: Have you ever tried stuffing a mackerel into a kettle?

Me: No.

Nell: Don’t suggest it then. Where was I?

Me: Lions and bears.

Nell: Yes, they don’t go together.

Me: Oh dear. Sorry.

Me: I’ve come to a decision.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: It’s no good everyone suffering because of my stupid cold.

Nell: Nobody is suffering.

Me: Harriet is selflessly caring for me when she is actually dreaming of running by the river.

Nell: She’s always doing that.

Me: And you’re busy organising the rota when all you want to do is have a collarless wander through the long grass.

Nell: I was actually thinking more of a nice cup of Earl Grey in the sunshine.

Me: Anyway, I’m doing a lot better, so it’s time for you dogs to go out and enjoy your lives.

Nell: Calm down. We’re perfectly capable of doing both.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: Kev’s taking Dave and Harriet for a good long walk by the river this afternoon and you and I are going to amble around the orchard.

Me: That sounds like the perfect solution.

Nell: Yes. Now, I’ve been meaning to ask what it was like travelling home from Germany with two bears?

Me: Easier than travelling to the United States with a glove puppet.

Nell: I beg your pardon? Are you running a fever again?

Me: I had a wolf glove puppet called Nick W Turner who was frisked at the airport in Washington.

Nell: Moving on, how was the flight? Was there enough room?

Me: It was a little hugger-mugger but we were fine.

Nell: I think I might leave it at that.

Me: Why?

Nell: So many questions and so little time.

Me: Right.

Nell: Why was the glove puppet called Nick W Turner?

Me: After my mother’s next door neighbour.

Nell: And what was he doing in Washington?

Me: He always came with me on business trips.

Nell: I need to lie down now.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: What are you doing out of bed?

Me: I was feeling a bit crowded.

Nell: Crowded?

Me: You know Harriet’s on night duty?

Nell: Yes.

Me: Well, every time I cough she thinks if she lies up really close to me and pushes against me it’s going to help.

Nell: And does it?

Me: Not really, and it’s ever so hot.

Nell: It would be. What about David?

Me: Dave’s idea of Caring is to bring me his huge rubber ring and dangle it in my face.

Nell: It’s his favourite toy.

Me: I know and Sharing is Caring, but goodness only knows where that toy has been.

Nell: I think we may have to introduce Caring From A Distance.

Me: Yes. Not all the time, but some of it, perhaps. Like when I’m sleeping.

Nell: Frau Hoffmann says you didn’t finish your chicken soup yesterday.

Me: It was delicious, but I couldn’t manage it all.

Nell: Interesting.

Me: Why?

Nell: There’s been a slight difference of opinion between Frau Hoffmann and Lionel in the kitchen.

Me: Is he still here?

Nell: He looked after us all beautifully while you were away.

Me: I know.

Nell: We can’t just throw him out onto the beach.

Me: No, I thought he might want to get back to his luxury suite at the Burgh Island hotel.

Nell: He prefers it here.

Me: What was the argument with Frau Hoffmann about?

Nell: You.

Me: Me?

Nell: Yes. Lionel said as the weather was warm you might prefer a light salad to a hearty soup.

Me: Lionel said that?

Nell: Yes, he did.

Me: Well, Lionel’s right. A light salad sounds absolutely lovely.

Nell: I agree. He’s making it for your lunch. Try and keep an open mind about him.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: You’re a sorry sight.

Me: I am.

Nell: This is more like flu than a cold.

Me: At least the fever broke in the night.

Nell: Harriet says you hardly slept with all that coughing.

Me: Maybe I should move into the guest room?

Nell: Kev told you you’re staying where you are.

Me: But it isn’t fair on him.

Nell: He might move out.

Me: Of the house?

Nell: No. The bedroom. We’re not talking quarantine. Yet.

Me: What do you mean ‘yet’?

Nell: Just joking. Now, Frau Hoffmann wants you to have a quick shower while she changes the bed.

Me: How kind of her.

Nell: She’s laid out fresh pyjamas and clean towels.

Me: Lovely. Where are the Hoffmanns sleeping, by the way?

Nell: In the barn with the large animals. Rupert has organised some soft blankets.

Me: I don’t know what we’re going to do when we move to somewhere smaller.

Nell; Now’s not the time to be worrying about moving. We need a buyer first.

Me: And somewhere else to live.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: I don’t want to leave here, Nell.

Nell: Nobody does, but needs must.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Let’s get you showered and changed.

Me: Okay.

Nell: Everything will look much brighter then.

Me: Hopefully.

Nell: Just concentrate on getting better. The rest of your worries can wait.

Me: I’m a bit of a misery guts today, aren’t I?

Nell: You do have a touch of the Eeyore about you.

Me: Do you think we might read some AA Milne together later?

Nell: I think that sounds perfect over a cup of Earl Grey and a small slice of toast and honey.

Me: I’m feeling a bit better already.

Nell: One step a time and all will be well.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Now, you have the most dreadful cold.

Me: I know. You’re all looking at me in the most reproachful way.

Nell: You appear to be running a slight fever.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Do not even think of getting out of bed.

Me: How long have the puppies been watching over me?

Nell: Harriet was on night shift and now David is on morning duty.

Me: Harriet’s still here. Doesn’t she need some breakfast?

Nell: She doesn’t want to leave your side.

Me: Bless her. She can share mine. I’m not really hungry.

Nell: David had a quick breakfast before he came upstairs. Just some crispy bacon in a freshly baked roll but enough to keep him going until elevenses.

Me: Are the Hoffmanns already in the kitchen? They must be tired after all that travelling yesterday.

Nell: Herr Hoffmann insisted on baking bread and Frau Hoffmann’s making some chicken soup for your lunch later.

Me: That’s extremely thoughtful of her.

Nell: Yes, she seems a very kind bear. Sensible and practical with a no nonsense attitude.

Me: Like you, except cuddlier.

Nell: Is ‘cuddlier’ a word?

Me: It is. You and I had a cuddle at the station.

Nell: Sometimes cuddles are a necessity.

Me: I agree.

Nell: David is Cuddle Ready but he’s been told not to crowd you as you’re unwell.

Me: He sat on me.

Nell: That animal never listens.

Me: I didn’t mind.

Nell: Did the Beefies wake you, by the way?

Me: Don’t worry. Seagull cries always remind me I’m home.

Nell: The Beefy Choir insisted on celebrating the Hoffmanns.

Me: Was Frau Hoffmann shocked?

Nell: No, she said she was delighted to meet Hartmut’s ‘darlink leetle girls’.

Me: Who’s Hartmut?

Nell: Herr Hoffmann. Hartmut and Hedwig Hoffmann. Do keep up.

Me: Sorry.

Nell: Are you packed and ready?

Me: Not quite, Nell. It’s still very early.

Nell: You sound terrible.

Me: I must admit I don’t feel that great.

Nell: What’s wrong?

Me: It’s just a cold. Nothing to worry about.

Nell: I’ll make sure you’re well looked after once you’re home.

Me: I know you will.

Nell: It’s fortunate you’re not travelling alone.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Herr Hoffmann is coming back with you, isn’t he?

Me: He is, and here’s the thing.

Nell: I never like it when you say that.

Me: You’ll like this. Frau Hoffmann is coming, too.

Nell: What about the cafe?

Me: Another Hoffmann’s taking over.

Nell: How many Hoffmanns are there?

Me: I don’t know.

Nell: Does Frau Hoffmann cook?

Me: Yes. Herr Hoffmann says she’s a real Mama Bear.

Nell: She sounds just what we need.

Me: Yes. The children are going to be sad to see her go.

Nell: They’re going to be sad to see you go.

Me: I feel the same way. I wish I lived nearer, Nell. This week has been wonderful. Just being here and joining in family time.

Nell: I know but they’re coming to see us for three weeks in the summer.

Me: They are.

Nell: And that’s something for us all to look forward to.

Me: It is.

Nell: Have you organised a seat for Frau Hoffmann on the plane?

Me: We booked the front three seats already and Herr Hoffmann says they don’t mind squeezing in together.

Nell: Will the airline cope with two bears?

Me: I’m not sure, but I’m about to find out.

Nell: Just get home safely. Kev and I will be waiting at the station.

Me: Yes.

Nell: And remember it’s Auf Wiedersehen not goodbye. You’re seeing them soon.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Look at Harriet rolling around and my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy listening away.

Nell: I’d just reminded them you’re coming home tomorrow.

Me: Bless them.

Nell: Is Herr Hoffmann back and why is he wearing that hat?

Me: It’s a long story.

Nell: I’ve plenty of time before Sunday Songs.

Me: Well, after a long discussion with Jonathan Sky, we decided to go and look for him.

Nell: Good.

Me: So, Jonathan, Faye and I took a train to the village near the forest where he used to live.

Nell: And?

Me: And we found him baking bread in a small cafe.

Nell: A cafe?

Me: We were hungry when we arrived, so we decided to have a German breakfast.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: You can’t search on an empty stomach, Nell.

Nell: Thats not the point.

Me: Anyway, when we tasted the bread rolls, I recognised their deliciousness, and I asked the kind lady bear serving us who had baked them.

Nell: Did you say ‘kind lady bear’?

Me: Yes. Anyway, she said they were made by her husband who’d just returned from working overseas.

Nell: ‘Working overseas’?

Me: Now you’re doing the repeating thing.

Nell: I think I know where this is going.

Me: And it turned out it was Herr Hoffmann.

Nell: Wait. Herr Hoffmann has a wife?

Me: Yes, Frau Hoffmann.

Nell: Oh my goodness.

Me: And to cut a very long story short, and after much persuasion on the children’s part, Herr and Frau Hoffmann came back here with us.

Nell: So that photo isn’t of Herr Hoffmann?

Me: No, it’s Frau Hoffmann. They’re in the kitchen now making a Sunday roast for the family.

Nell: A Sunday roast?

Me: Yes, roast beef with all the trimmings.

Nell: We’re having salad.

Me: Sorry.

Me: You’re not wearing your collar.

Nell: I’m outside in the field.

Me: You always wear your collar when you’re out.

Nell: It’s the first of June. Collars don’t need to be worn.

Me: That’s absolute nonsense and you know it.

Nell: Fine. I’m having a Collarless Saturday.

Me: Just don’t go out and about without one.

Nell: The Cat says it’s a lovely photo.

Me: It is.

Nell: The Cat says it’s an atmospheric shot of a dog in the grass.

Me: I took some atmospheric shots of the family down at the lake yesterday evening.

Nell: I can see.

Me: The weather was so lovely we all decided to go for a walk after dinner.

Nell: Even the bear?

Me: Herr Hoffmann isn’t back yet.

Nell: What? You realise there are only two sleeps to go before you come home?

Me: I’m sure he’ll be back today.

Nell: If he isn’t, you’re going to have to go and find him.

Me: Yes, I will.

Nell: Now, it’s the first of the month, so another thing you need to do is share the link so people can support your writing.

Me: I suppose so.

Nell: There’s no suppose about it. You write a conversation every day and this makes a lot of people very happy.

Me: The link is: buymeacoffee.com/saramartin

Nell: There you are. That wasn’t difficult.

Me: No. Do you know what I’m doing now?

Nell: Writing?

Me: Yes, and Jonathan Sky is sitting next to me reading ‘Conversations with Nell’.

Nell: That’s lovely.

Me: Yes, it is.

Nell: I’m usually sitting next to you.

Me: I know and you will be again very soon.

Nell: Is Jonathan still there?

Me: Yes, and now Fayely is, too.

Nell: You’re going to miss them, aren’t you?

Me: Yes. Sorry.