Me: I’ve got a question for you and it might sound a little ridiculous.
Nell: Nothing new there.
Me: Could Dave’s legs be growing?
Nell: Don’t be ridiculous.
Me: I knew you would say that.
Nell: Why ask then?
Me: Because I went into the living room and he was lying on The Rug That Used To Be Lighter with a really long leg.
Nell: Just the one?
Me: The other one was tucked away. Harriet was looking bored and the Stuffed Tiger was looking sneaky.
Nell: It was probably just his post workout stretching exercises. Gladys recommends them.
Me: Oh, I see.
Nell: You can’t go anywhere in that field nowadays without stumbling over a stretching llama.
Me: Gosh. Well, he did look normal again when he sat up.
Nell: As for Harriet, she finds all this stretching extremely tedious. She much prefers a swim to a glide.
Me: Darling girl.
Nell: And the Stuffed Tiger is sneaky. I’ve been telling you this for months.
Me: At least there’s no danger of Dave turning into a giraffe.
Nell: David has sturdy legs. No amount of stretching is going to change that.
Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: Moving on, at Morning Thoughts today Frau Hoffmann questioned the role of lions in the kitchen.
Me: Really?
Nell: I’m afraid she and Lionel are not getting on.
Me: Herr Hoffmann was fine with him.
Nell: Herr Hoffmann is a friend to the Beefies.
Me: That’s true.
Nell: He goes his own way.
Me: He does. Frau Hoffmann is obviously a completely different kettle of fish.
Nell: Have you ever tried stuffing a mackerel into a kettle?
Me: No.
Nell: Don’t suggest it then. Where was I?
Me: Lions and bears.
Nell: Yes, they don’t go together.
Me: Oh dear. Sorry.
