Me: Nigel’s definitely integrated into the pack. You were all hugger mugger at the drinking bowl after your run.
Nell: This is wrong on so many levels.
Me: Why?
Nell: Firstly, we’re not a pack. We’re Labradors not wolves. Secondly, I never run. And finally, what on earth is hugger mugger?
Me: It means huddled together in a disorganised way.
Nell: Wrong again. We’re extremely organised. The puppies drink first. I prefer to wait until there’s room. And David drinks longest.
Me: And Nigel?
Nell: Nigel joins in.
Me: That’s all I was trying to say. Did I see Nigel kiss you, by the way?
Nell: Yes. I wish he wouldn’t do that. It’s so forward and unnecessary.
Me: I think it was just a friendly kiss, Nell.
Nell: I know that, but we’re not in France. A nod will suffice, or a wag of the tail.
Me: I’m glad to see him enjoying himself.
Nell: Talking of enjoyment, rumour has it that the Daily Growl is going to publish an article on ‘The Kingsbridge Cream Tea Experience.’
Me: Really?
Nell: They’ve managed to persuade Gulldon Ramsay to come and taste it and write a review.
Me: Gordon Ramsay is coming here to Devon? The famous chef?
Nell: He’s a famously rude chef but stop saying Gordon.
Me: That’s his name and he’s Scottish.
Nell: Gulldon is not Scottish. He’s from Devon and he’s a seagull.
Me: A seagull?
Nell: Yes, and if you ask me there’s something of the Beefy about him. It’s the mean eyes.
Me: All seagulls have mean eyes.
Nell: Susan doesn’t, although that might be because she was brought up by a heron.
Me: And she married Malcolm, the kindest flamingo I know.
Nell: Could we get back to the upcoming review?
Me: Yes. Sorry.
