Me: I don’t think Dave’s the only one full of love and affection for Tony.

Nell: Tony is a friend to us all.

Me: I saw the way you were with him.

Nell: I enjoy his company.

Me: Giving him kisses just like Dave.

Nell: I’m not like David at all. He goes completely wild when Tony arrives.

Me: You’re getting softer in your old age.

Nell: Have you tried one of Herr Hoffmann’s pancakes?

Me: You’re changing the subject.

Nell: He’s made Canadian ones in honour of Rupert.

Me: I know you can hear me.

Nell: Soft and fluffy.

Me: Just like you.

Nell: Served with crispy bacon and maple syrup.

Me: I like to keep them separate.

Nell: David is the same. He always asks for extra bacon on the side.

Me: That’s just a clever way of getting more. He eats everything.

Nell: Not necessarily in one mouthful. David has a discerning palate. I’ve told you that before.

Me: Are you still writing his Dine with David column?

Nell: Now, it’s raining again, so I’m advising wellington boots.

Me: You’re evading my question.

Nell: The llamas left their boots by the door. Be careful you don’t fall over them.

Me: Are the llamas here?

Nell: They’re in the kitchen. You can’t serve pancakes without including the llamas. Whatever next?

Me: Did the Beefies get some pancakes, too?

Nell: Yes. Herr Hoffmann makes them stand in line and feeds them separately.

Me: Why?

Nell: To avoid food fights. They’re very badly behaved.

Me: I know.

Nell: But not anymore. They wait patiently and even wipe their beaks afterwards.

Me: On their feathers?

Nell: No. On their napkins.

Me: The Beefies have napkins?

Nell: Everyone has a napkin.

Me: I don’t.

Nell: Well, fetch one quickly.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: I can see you’re all feeling a bit down in the dumps at the moment.

Nell: Down in the where?

Me: Dumpos was a king of Egypt who died of melancholy.

Nell: Was the weather bad there, too?

Me: Talking of weather, the good news is that Storm Kathleen is on her way out.

Nell: And the bad news?

Me: She’s been replaced by Pierrick.

Nell: Who chooses these names?

Me: In this case it was the French. Pierrick is a French storm.

Nell: Why’s he over here?

Me: A quick holiday?

Nell: You’re full of fun facts this morning. Any particular reason why?

Me: I’m trying to cheer you up.

Nell: By telling us a French storm called Pierrick is on his way?

Me: I needed to warn you about the bad weather.

Nell: No need. The Beefies were shouting about it during feeding time.

Me: Feeding time?

Nell: Now that Herr Hoffmann has Seagull Sam as his best friend, he’s started feeding them. He calls them ‘Dear little girls’.

Me: They aren’t girls.

Nell: He can’t say gulls.

Me: What does he give them?

Nell: Leftovers. Beefies eat anything.

Me: What were they shouting?

Nell: Kingsbridge has flooded.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: An eel was seen swimming along the road near Sue’s shop.

Me: Tony the Postman’s wife Sue?

Nell: Yes. She has a craft shop in town. Rupert loves all the different wools.

Me: Dear Knitwear Wolf. I don’t think I’d like to come across a swimming eel.

Nell: Then don’t go to Kingsbridge at the moment.

Me: What a strange world we live in.

Nell: Tell me about it.

Me: I’d love to.

Nell: Let’s just enjoy a quiet cup of Earl Grey while we wait for the stormy Frenchman to arrive.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: I think Harriet might have the Monday Blues.

Nell: It’s all this rain. Just when you think it’s stopped, it starts again.

Me: I don’t remember it ever being this bad.

Nell: It’s so difficult to make plans. My friend Dorothy and I were going out to lunch today but I might cancel.

Me: Why?

Nell: Rupert was taking me over to Salcombe on his motorbike but I can’t go in this weather.

Me: Isn’t there some sort of waterproof cover we can zip you into?

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: One that goes over the sidecar?

Nell: I’m not riding around in a tent, thank you very much.

Me: Your fur dries ever so quickly. Rupert could give you a quick rub down with a towel when you arrive and all will be well.

Nell: A quick rub down?

Me: That’s what I do to you after a rainy walk. You like it and your fur goes all wavy and fluffy.

Nell: I’m never fluffy.

Me: Bouncy then.

Nell: Or bouncy. I’m a lady Labrador.

Me: Well, I think you should get over yourself and go. What’s a little bit of rain?

Nell: It’s blowing a storm out there.

Me: Yes. Kathleen.

Nell: Is there something wrong with you? My name is Eleanor. Why on earth would you call me Kathleen?

Me: Not you. The storm. Storm Kathleen.

Nell: Why does a storm need a name?

Me: They only name the big ones.

Nell: If they start naming the small ones they’ll never stop.

Me: Shall I go and get you a towel?

Nell: Why?

Me: You’re not going to let Kathleen stop you from seeing Dorothy, are you?

Nell: Kathleen is a storm. Stop turning her into something else. I know what you’re like.

Me: Sorry.

Me: I appreciate your keeping an eye on me.

Nell: My pleasure.

Me: But you don’t need to keep such a close eye.

Nell: I’m off the clock soon.

Me: Off the clock?

Nell: My shift ends. David is taking over as soon as he finishes his breakfast, which could be a while come to think of it.

Me: Shift?

Nell: You’re doing that repeating thing again.

Me: I didn’t know you were working in shifts.

Nell: Harriet is doing nights and David and I are sharing days.

Me: I’m fine. There’s no need.

Nell: I’ll be the judge of that. Now, it’s very windy outside and several corgis have blown over, so we’re moving Sunday Songs to The Barn.

Me: Are the corgis okay?

Nell: The llamas rolled them back into place but it kept happening so Gladys decided to move everyone inside.

Me: Is Gladys conducting the Welsh Corgi Choir now?

Nell: No. Sunday Songs is not until later.

Me: I meant in general.

Nell: I see. No, it’s still Pamela, the Pyrenean Mountain Dog.

Me: You wouldn’t think a Pyrenean Mountain Dog would choose a Welsh Corgi Choir.

Nell: Why?

Me: It might feel a little too large.

Nell: Conductors are not chosen by size and neither are choirs.

Me: You couldn’t sing in the Welsh Corgi Choir.

Nell: I could if I wanted to. David has joined them several times.

Me: As a guest.

Nell: David is a pedigree Black Labrador and he’s not Welsh.

Me: Fair enough.

Nell: Herr Hoffmann is preparing roast beef with all the trimmings for lunch.

Me: I hope Dave doesn’t eat the Yorkshire puddings by mistake again.

Nell: When pugs fly.

Me: You know it’s pigs.

Nell: Not in my world. Eat your toast. It’s getting cold.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: A year ago today you said a final goodbye to your little sister Alex.

Me: Yes. I still find it hard to accept that Panda has gone.

Nell: I’m glad you and Charlotte were able to spend time together.

Me: So many happy memories. So many painful ones, too.

Nell: I think a quiet day is in order. It’s cold and windy outside, so breakfast by the fire sounds a good idea to me.

Me: Maybe.

Nell: David wondered if bacon might help?

Me: I’m not really hungry.

Nell: A nice cup of Earl Grey tea, then. I’ll organise it now.

Me: Thank you.

Nell: Now, in amongst this sorrow, we need to find a pocketful of happiness.

Me: Actually, I do have one.

Nell: Good.

Me: It happened yesterday morning. I was on my way out to the car to go to my gym class when a car pulled over next to me and someone shouted, ‘Sara, is that really you?’

Nell: Was it a whippet?

Me: No. It was a lovely smiley district nurse called Cathy who’s been following my conversations for ages.

Nell: How wonderful.

Me: We had a big hug and she was so happy to meet me. It really brightened my day.

Nell: Well, that is a pocketful of happiness.

Me: It is. In fact it’s still making me smile. I missed out on all the book tours because of Covid so I’m always delighted to meet my readers.

Nell: They’re a very special group of people.

Me: They are. I feel like we’re all one great big family. They’ve been with me through so much.

Nell: They have.

Me: I hope they know how much their kindness and support means to me.

Nell: They know.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: No sorries. Not today.

Me: I need to find pocketfuls of happiness again. They always helps me through difficult times.

Nell: Good idea.

Me: Today, it’s remembering Harriet’s fascination with that yellow leaf, or petal, blowing in the wind.

Nell: It could have been either.

Me: Her little face was so adorable.

Nell: She probably thought it was a biscuit.

Me: I’m choosing to think she was charmed by the beauty of nature.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: She was simply delighting in her surroundings.

Nell: Harriet certainly does that.

Me: We’re so lucky to live where we do.

Nell: We are. On another note, what did you think of Herr Hoffmann’s vegan sausage rolls?

Me: They were absolutely delicious. You would never have known they weren’t the real thing.

Nell: David knew.

Me: Did he?

Nell: David has a discerning palate.

Me: Does he?

Nell: Why do you think so many people trust his column?

Me: What column?

Nell: ‘Dine with Dave’ in The Growl on Sunday.

Me: I must read it.

Nell: I’m sure there’s a copy of last week’s somewhere.

Me: So, Dave isn’t in to vegan food?

Nell: He’s open to new tastes, but deep down he’s a traditionalist.

Me: Dave sounds awfully like you.

Nell: Does he?

Me: If I didn’t know better, I could imagine you writing that column under Dave’s name.

Nell: Me? What on earth are you talking about?

Me: I can just see Dave asking his Aunt Nell to help him out.

Nell: You have far too much imagination for your own good.

Me: Why are you wearing a hat?

Nell: My friend Dorothy and I are lunching out. There’s a new restaurant in Kingsbridge we want to try.

Me: You and Dorothy dine out regularly, don’t you?

Nell: Stop that right now.

Me: Sorry.

Me: River Walk is your favourite of all of our walks.

Nell: Yes, it is.

Me: You can really see that Spring is on its way. The trees are starting to blossom and the grass has that beautiful lush green hue.

Nell: I particularly enjoy a sniffari down by the river.

Me: And you can take your time while the others walk ahead.

Nell: Harriet went into the river. Kev asked her not to as it was fast flowing, but she didn’t listen.

Me: She was being Wild Impetuous Harriet.

Nell: She says she only paddled.

Me: She did. She’s actually really sensible around water.

Nell: Anyway, the walk did us all good and it made a change to have some sunshine.

Me: And no rain.

Nell: It’s raining again now, you know.

Me: Awful.

Nell: Herr Hoffmann is making vegan sausage rolls for lunch.

Me: Has he really turned vegan? I thought it was an April Fool’s joke.

Nell: It was. He’s just trying out a recipe from Seagull Sam.

Me: So, Sam’s real?

Nell: Of course he is. He and Herr Hoffmann have been friends for ages.

Me: Hoff’s always been kind to the Beefies.

Nell: Don’t call him Hoff, please.

Me: I rather like it.

Nell: Now, Chris told me he’s treated you to a flight to Berlin at the end of May to visit Alice and the grandchildren.

Me: Yes. I’m going from 26th May to 3rd June.

Nell: So you’ll be there for Faye’s birthday?

Me: Yes, and Andre’s.

Nell: That’s lovely.

Me: It’s definitely lifted my spirits.

Nell: Which is exactly what it was meant to do.

Me: I’m very lucky to have such a loving family.

Nell: Nothing to do with luck. What goes around comes around. Love generates love.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: You know I was talking about Dave being Dave?

Nell: Yes.

Me: I think Harriet heard me because now Harriet is being Harriet.

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: She’s lying on the sofa with her ear over her eye.

Nell: That’s just one of the Harriets. There are lots of them.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: There’s Shy Harriet, Thoughtful Harriet, Worried Harriet and Bold Harriet, to name but a few.

Me: Bold?

Nell: Have you seen her rush into the sea?

Me: True.

Nell: Harriet can be who she needs to be. It’s part of her skills as a spy.

Me: Yes. She’s definitely much tougher than she appears to be.

Nell: Remember how she would tell David to behave when she was a tiny little puppy and not even half his size?

Me: I do. And Dave would listen.

Nell: He still does. She was the first born of the litter.

Me: I remember the day when Kev went with me to see the puppies and he fell in love with Harriet.

Nell: You had already lost your heart to Dave.

Me: I had, and then Harriet came over and lay on Kev’s foot and he picked her up and that was it.

Nell: Love at first sight.

Me: Yes. Kev said, ‘Sara, I know it’s madness but do you think we could take both of them?’

Nell: And you said, ‘Yes’.

Me: I did. At once. There wasn’t a moment’s hesitation. They were meant to be with us.

Nell: Even though you had three dogs at home.

Me: Yes, Mutley, Poppy and you.

Nell: The puppies’ aunt.

Me: We made the right decision. Even if it was a little crazy.

Nell: Harriet made the decision, by the way.

Me: Yes, she did. Sorry.

Nell: I’m posting the link to that website again.

Me: Why?

Nell: Because people might not have seen it in the business of Easter and you need all the support you can get. It’s buymeacoffee.com/saramartin.

Me: Thank you. Do you know what I love about Dave?

Nell: His affectionate nature?

Me: He’s very cuddly. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. But it’s not that.

Nell: His optimism?

Me: He always looks on the bright side. But it isn’t that, either.

Nell: Just tell me.

Me: I love the way he can look truly magnificent, in a ‘lions at Trafalgar Square’ sort of way, one minute and the next, completely not.

Nell: Lions at Trafalgar Square? What on earth are you talking about?

Me: All noble and stately.

Nell: He is the Mayor of Kingsbridge.

Me: But the next moment, he’s flopped on his side with an ear over his eye.

Nell: What’s adorable about that?

Me: It’s so Dave. He can never be Magnificent for long. It’s simply too tiring.

Nell: You mean he likes to be himself?

Me: Exactly. Dave is Dave. He’s happy in his own skin.

Nell: It’s also why he’ll never be a successful spy like Harriet.

Me: Davey could never keep up pretences for long.

Nell: Please don’t call him Davey. He’ll be 7 in June.

Me: It suits him.

Nell: Now, I know this is a tough week because we’re coming up to the anniversary of your little sister Alex’s death.

Me: My sister Charlotte is coming over on Friday to be with me as Alex died that night.

Nell: Alex died on 6th April which is also Charlotte’s daughter Scarlett’s birthday.

Me: It’s all very difficult, Nell, but we’ll get through it.

Nell: We will. Together.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: No need for sorry.

Me: Pinch, punch, first of the month.

Nell: Don’t start that again.

Me: You’re supposed to reply ‘White rabbits’.

Nell: Will Beefy in a Beanie do?

Me: No.

Nell: Or Bear in a Beanie?

Me: What are you talking about?

Nell: Haven’t you seen Herr Hoffmann and his best friend Sam?

Me: No.

Nell: Sam’s a singing Beefy.

Me: What?

Nell: And Herr Hoffmann’s thinking of joining him.

Me: Herr Hoffmann can’t be a singing Beefy.

Nell: No, he’s turning vegan. Sam’s even written a song about them winning.

Me: Winning what?

Nell: Best Bonnet. Would you like me to sing it?

Me: How do you know the song?

Nell: Because he’s been singing it since yesterday.

Me: Fair enough.

Nell: It has to be sung in an American accent. Don’t ask why.

Me: I won’t.

Nell: ‘My name is Seagull Sam.

And I’m a vegan, man.

My best friend Hoff, he’s a bear.

And with my golden eyes

On that special prize

I’m a gull who loves to care.

When it comes to a hat,

Don’t look at The Cat,

Or David, or Miss Harry Jet.

Just check out my Beanie

Cos you gotta believe me

It’s the finest one you’ve seen yet.

Hoff has one, too,

And I’m telling you,

One of us boys is the winner.

Now hand out the crown

So we can sit down

And enjoy a great vegan dinner.’

Me: Loved the accent.

Nell: Moving on, please share the link to the website where people can buy you a cup of Earl Grey. It’s the first of the month.

Me: Yes. It’s buymeacoffee.com/saramartin. We really appreciate your support. It makes a big difference.

Nell: It does.

Me: Are we really having a vegan dinner?

Nell: What day is it today?

Me: Of course. Sorry.