Me: I can see you’re all feeling a bit down in the dumps at the moment.
Nell: Down in the where?
Me: Dumpos was a king of Egypt who died of melancholy.
Nell: Was the weather bad there, too?
Me: Talking of weather, the good news is that Storm Kathleen is on her way out.
Nell: And the bad news?
Me: She’s been replaced by Pierrick.
Nell: Who chooses these names?
Me: In this case it was the French. Pierrick is a French storm.
Nell: Why’s he over here?
Me: A quick holiday?
Nell: You’re full of fun facts this morning. Any particular reason why?
Me: I’m trying to cheer you up.
Nell: By telling us a French storm called Pierrick is on his way?
Me: I needed to warn you about the bad weather.
Nell: No need. The Beefies were shouting about it during feeding time.
Me: Feeding time?
Nell: Now that Herr Hoffmann has Seagull Sam as his best friend, he’s started feeding them. He calls them ‘Dear little girls’.
Me: They aren’t girls.
Nell: He can’t say gulls.
Me: What does he give them?
Nell: Leftovers. Beefies eat anything.
Me: What were they shouting?
Nell: Kingsbridge has flooded.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: An eel was seen swimming along the road near Sue’s shop.
Me: Tony the Postman’s wife Sue?
Nell: Yes. She has a craft shop in town. Rupert loves all the different wools.
Me: Dear Knitwear Wolf. I don’t think I’d like to come across a swimming eel.
Nell: Then don’t go to Kingsbridge at the moment.
Me: What a strange world we live in.
Nell: Tell me about it.
Me: I’d love to.
Nell: Let’s just enjoy a quiet cup of Earl Grey while we wait for the stormy Frenchman to arrive.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
