Me: Happy Birthday to you, darling Nell.
Nell: Thank you.
Me: I can’t believe you’re twelve.
Nell: Well, I am. Is that a bouncy castle?
Me: Did you enjoy your birthday breakfast?
Nell: Stop changing the subject.
Me: Dave said bacon sandwiches were definitely the way to go.
Nell: Go where?
Me: And to be honest it’s much easier for Herr Hoffmann to distribute.
Nell: Distribute?
Me: Amongst all the animals.
Nell: What animals?
Me: I wrote you a poem. Would you like to hear it?
Nell: Go on then.
Me: ‘I know I might have said this before
And I’ve probably said it to you,
But when singing the praises of this Labrador
Everything about her is true.
She’s bold, she’s wise,
She has so much to say.
Preferably after a scone
And a cup of Earl Grey.
I know she said
She wanted no fuss.
I know she meant it too,
But to be honest we really wouldn’t be us
If we always did what she wants us to do.
So bring out the cake,
And the corgis and llamas.
I’ll explain to you later
Why they’re wearing pyjamas.
It’s Nelly’s 12th birthday
And all is well.
Because that’s how it is
In the world of Nell.’
Nell: So, why are the llamas wearing pyjamas?
Me: It’s easier to bounce.
Nell: And why are you wearing them?
Me: It’s a pyjama party. We thought you might enjoy it.
Nell: Do I look like a pyjama sort of Labrador to you?
Me: The Cat has organised silk pyjamas for you and Knitwear Wolf is looking awfully handsome in his woollen ones.
Nell: I suppose I could give it a try. And you know what they say.
Me: I don’t, actually.
Nell: You’re only twelve once.
Me: Of course. Sorry.
