Me: Is that a rook on the fence? It’s been watching the house for ages.
Nell: Chase it away. I don’t want them anywhere near me. What is Rupert doing having meetings with those horrible birds.
Me: What are you talking about?
Nell: Haven’t you seen today’s Daily Growl?
Me: No, I’ve been writing.
Nell: I thought Lionel must have brought you a copy. He’s shown everyone else.
Me: Shown them what?
Nell: That dreadful photo of Rupert and the rooks.
Me: Sounds like a band.
Nell: This is not a joking matter.
Me: No, of course it isn’t. Show me.
Nell: There. See for yourself.
Me: Are we sure it’s him?
Nell: It looks like him.
Me: It could be another wolf.
Nell: It isn’t.
Me: But he isn’t wearing a cardigan.
Nell: Maybe it’s warmer in Paris.
Me: And Knitwear Wolf isn’t on the run from the British authorities.
Nell: He probably is by now.
Me: There’ll be a very good reason for this.
Nell: How can he do this to me? Why isn’t he answering his iBone?
Me: Have you talked to Sally?
Nell: No, she was called away on urgent business.
Me: What about Harriet? She might know something.
Nell: She’s asleep, or pretending to be.
Me: Was she up late partying?
Nell: No. She and Sally were in meetings until late. David wasn’t best pleased. He wanted a romantic evening.
Me: Poor darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: I’m finding it difficult to believe my own eyes.
Me: Then don’t. It’s the Daily Growl. You can’t trust a word they say.
Nell: I won’t. My Rupert would never do anything wrong.
Me: I’m glad you’ve finally realised he’s your Rupert because you’re his Nell. Or should I say Nellie?
Nell: Don’t push it.
Me: Sorry.
