


Me: Look at Dave with his new toy. Bless him.
Nell: I could do without having to listen to the sound of chewing all the time. I’m trying to read the newspaper.
Me: Stop being such a misery guts. Let him enjoy himself. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: David is supposed to be helping Herr Hoffmann with breakfast in the kitchen.
Me: Malcolm and Manuel are there.
Nell: I know but David has responsibilities. Taste testing the bacon is not enough.
Me: It looks lovely and crispy.
Nell: That’s as maybe but he needs to do some actual cooking.
Me: Why is Lionel King here again?
Nell: He’s collecting Roary. It’s half term and they’re spending time together. I told you about that.
Me: Why is he sitting in our living room?
Nell: He has to wait somewhere. There’s not enough room in the tree house and Roary isn’t ready.
Me: He could wait in the garden.
Nell: It’s raining.
Me: Rain hasn’t stopped Gladys and the llamas from exercising.
Nell: Nothing can stop them and besides they’re wearing lycra.
Me: Herr Hoffmann definitely doesn’t like Lionel.
Nell: How do you know that?
Me: He gave him a hard stare.
Nell: Was he wearing his glasses?
Me: Why would Lionel be wearing Herr Hoffmann’s glasses?
Nell: What?
Me: I didn’t even know Lionel needed glasses.
Nell: Not Lionel. Herr Hoffmann. He’s very short sighted.
Me: I can’t remember but I know he doesn’t want him here because he said ‘No Lionels in ze kitchen, please.’
Nell: He meant lions. There’s not enough room.
Me: Roary and Mrs King are allowed in there whenever they like.
Nell: You’re reading too much into this.
Me: I don’t trust him.
Nell: Stop fussing and try and relax. It’s Saturday.
Me: Ok. Sorry.