Why is Lionel here again?

Me: Look at Dave with his new toy. Bless him.

Nell: I could do without having to listen to the sound of chewing all the time. I’m trying to read the newspaper.

Me: Stop being such a misery guts. Let him enjoy himself. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: David is supposed to be helping Herr Hoffmann with breakfast in the kitchen.

Me: Malcolm and Manuel are there.

Nell: I know but David has responsibilities. Taste testing the bacon is not enough.

Me: It looks lovely and crispy.

Nell: That’s as maybe but he needs to do some actual cooking.

Me: Why is Lionel King here again?

Nell: He’s collecting Roary. It’s half term and they’re spending time together. I told you about that.

Me: Why is he sitting in our living room?

Nell: He has to wait somewhere. There’s not enough room in the tree house and Roary isn’t ready.

Me: He could wait in the garden.

Nell: It’s raining.

Me: Rain hasn’t stopped Gladys and the llamas from exercising.

Nell: Nothing can stop them and besides they’re wearing lycra.

Me: Herr Hoffmann definitely doesn’t like Lionel.

Nell: How do you know that?

Me: He gave him a hard stare.

Nell: Was he wearing his glasses?

Me: Why would Lionel be wearing Herr Hoffmann’s glasses?

Nell: What?

Me: I didn’t even know Lionel needed glasses.

Nell: Not Lionel. Herr Hoffmann. He’s very short sighted.

Me: I can’t remember but I know he doesn’t want him here because he said ‘No Lionels in ze kitchen, please.’

Nell: He meant lions. There’s not enough room.

Me: Roary and Mrs King are allowed in there whenever they like.

Nell: You’re reading too much into this.

Me: I don’t trust him.

Nell: Stop fussing and try and relax. It’s Saturday.

Me: Ok. Sorry.

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