I’d like a Word with you, please.

Nell: I’d like a word with you, please.

Me: Oh dear. What have I done now?

Nell: It has come to my attention that you and Alice were at the Cottage Hotel yesterday.

Me: We went there for lunch with Charlotte.

Nell: Your sister?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Without me?

Me: You were booked in for massage and hydrotherapy with Chloe so you couldn’t have come with us.

Nell: Convenient.

Me: We had to go then, Nell, because Charlotte was free and Alice flies back to Germany tomorrow.

Nell: The Cottage Hotel is my favourite place.

Me: Your session was booked weeks ago and we couldn’t change it.

Nell: Excuses.

Me: On a positive note, Chloe says you’ve lost 700g and you didn’t just float in the hydrotherapy tank but did some actual walking.

Nell: Just float?

Me: We both know you’ve worked out the life jacket supports you, so you lift all four paws off the ground and float instead of walk.

Nell: I might rest my legs now and again.

Me: You fell asleep on the warming mat, too.

Nell: Can you blame me?

Me: Not at all.

Nell: At least I’m sensible. What were you doing climbing those cliffs?

Me: I have to get my steps in, Nell.

Nell: Not up the side of a cliff.

Me: It was Alice’s idea.

Nell: Don’t blame other people.

Me: I was proud when I got up there because the steps were quite high.

Nell: Madness. You could hardly move later.

Me: I know but the view was amazing and I had a sense of achievement.

Nell: It was a cliff walk not Mount Everest.

Me: I think I should get bonus steps for climbing upwards.

Nell: And I think you owe me lunch at the Cottage Hotel.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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