Tuesday is not a Bacon Day

Me: Look at my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Who could resist that little face?

Nell: David needs to stop begging for bacon.

Me: He’s a Labrador.

Nell: Tuesday is not a bacon day.

Me: But Alice is visiting.

Nell: Poppy is far too busy. Boiled eggs and soldiers will have to do. David knows that.

Me: What’s Poppy doing this morning?

Nell: Lassoing llamas, if you must know.

Me: Seriously?

Nell: Yes, and the wretched creatures aren’t cooperating.

Me: I don’t blame them.

Nell: Two of them actually cartwheeled away.

Me: How clever.

Nell: And several others simply fell over.

Me: Did anyone spit?

Nell: A couple of cowboys, but I don’t know where they came from.

Me: Is there any particular reason why Poppy is lassoing llamas?

Nell: I should have thought it was obvious.

Me: Not to me.

Nell: You can’t be Indiana Bones without knowing how to lasso a llama.

Me: Are you sure about that?

Nell: Yes.

Me: Well, David’s definitely going to need a bacon sandwich before he masters that skill. Everyone knows you can’t lasso anything on an empty stomach.

Nell: Very funny.

Me: How many Indianas are there?

Nell: More than we started with and more than we need, if you ask me.

Me: Is that lion still involved?

Nell: Lionel is part of the group.

Me: I think Jim the Farm Dog would make a wonderful replacement Indiana if Dave’s having an off day.

Nell: Funny you should say that.

Me: Why?

Nell: Bumper said the same thing at our management meeting.

Me: Has anyone spoken to Harriet yet?

Nell: Yes. Sally had a word with her last night.

Me: I mean about her crush on Bumper, not spying.

Nell: So do I and she took it well.

Me: Good. Sorry.

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