Me: Well, that’s made Dave’s day. We haven’t seen Tony for ages.
Nell: He was on holiday.
Me: It’s sad news about Tony’s shanty crew breaking up.
Nell: He said it was all too much for them. They were victims of their own success.
Me: A bit like Dave.
Nell; What are you talking about?
Me: He’s rushed off his paws being the Mayor of Kingsbridge and a major Hollywood star.
Nell; We haven’t even started filming yet. Stop getting ahead of yourself.
Me: Did you notice anything strange at breakfast?
Nell: Apart from the fact that Bumper insisted the stuffed tiger had a seat at the breakfast table?
Me: Everyone was wearing napkins round their necks.
Nell: Yes, one of Bumper’s better ideas. He likes to wipe his mouth after eating and we thought we’d try it too.
Me: You looked awfully sweet.
Nell: Thats not the point.
Me: I know.
Nell: It won’t last, of course. David dipped his napkin in his boiled egg instead of toast and ended up with egg everywhere.
Me: I thought he looked a bit messy.
Nell: Harriet tried to lick the egg off and then he said it was his egg and if anyone was going to lick the egg off it should be him so she went and sat at the other end of the table with Bumper.
Me: What does Jim the Farm Dog think about it all?
Nell: He’s far too busy to be eating boiled eggs. He’s out ploughing the fields, or whatever farm dogs do.
Me: I meant about Bumper.
Nell: He’s being kind and welcoming.
Me: But actually he’s consumed with jealousy at the arrival of such a handsome pen pal.
Nell: Do calm down. This isn’t one of your stories.
Me: Except it is. Sorry.