Nell: Would you like to explain yourself?
Me: What have I done now?
Nell: The children were just telling me about a wonderful game of Hide and Seek they played with Naughty Nigel and Boo.
Me: Oh, yes.
Nell: And how a ball was accidentally thrown over the garden gate.
Me: We got it back. Don’t worry.
Nell: And how several cars were thrown in the bushes and were only found after an extensive search .
Me: They were toy cars.
Nell: They were Jonathan’s prize possessions.
Me: He threw them in there to hide them from Faye.
Nell: And who told him to do that?
Me: It might have been Nigel.
Nell: Of course it was Nigel. You don’t get called Naughty by accident, you know. Where were you while all this was going on?
Me: I was there.
Nell: You were busy eating homemade pizza and drinking bubbly with your sister Charlotte and Alice.
Me: How do you know that?
Nell: I know everything.
Me: You certainly seem to.
Nell: I even have photographic evidence.
Me: Did you send a drone over?
Nell: Don’t be silly. I have no need for drones.
Me: Well, who took the photos then?
Nell: Didn’t you notice Our Penguin?
Me: I saw him walking past with his camera but I thought he was visiting a friend.
Nell: And what did you think Princess was doing in the estuary?
Me: I presumed she was there with Our Penguin. They usually travel together.
Nell: And you didn’t wonder why they decided to do that at the exact same time as you?
Me: Not really.
Nell: Talking of visits, why wasn’t I included?
Me: There was no room in the car, Nell.
Nell: Fine. Just don’t let Nigel organise the games next time.
Me: No. Sorry.