Me: I’m struggling today, Nell.
Nell: I know you are and it’s completely understandable. Your little sister’s funeral is in two days.
Me: I managed to find a tiny pocketful of happiness when my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy brought me his favourite toy.
Nell: Are you taking about the colourful ring?
Me: Yes. It was a bit wet and slimy but still ever so kind of him to share it with me.
Nell: David loves chewing on that thing.
Me: Kev says it makes him look like one of those lion door knockers.
Nell: It keeps him busy.
Me: You’ve never really been one for toys.
Nell: I prefer a good book myself.
Me: Such a sophisticated animal.
Nell: Thank you. Now, you didn’t manage to get to your hair appointment on Friday so Sophie has managed to fit you in tomorrow morning.
Me: That’s kind of her.
Nell: She’s completely aware of what’s going on.
Me: I hope I don’t break down.
Nell: You probably will but that’s fine. There’s the quiet room and you’ll be well looked after.
Me: I need to look my best for Alex.
Nell: I know you do.
Me: I can’t believe she’s gone, Nell. I’ll be doing something normal like making a bed, or washing up, and it will hit me like a hammer.
Nell: It’s hard to accept.
Me: I’m never going to see her again.
Nell: I know.
Me: Even though she was the youngest she had such a sensible head on her. She was the one I knew would give me sensible advice.
Me: How am I going to manage without her?
Nell: You will.
Me: It’s hard to believe at the moment.
Nell: One step at a time.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
Nell: No sorries. Not today.