Me: Why is PC Panda in our kitchen eating scones and staring at Poppy while scrolling through his iBone?
Nell: It’s my iBone actually.
Me: Even more worrying.
Nell: Le Champignon Bleu have made a complaint.
Me: The Blue Mushroom? About yesterday?
Nell: Yes. They said orders weren’t received and those that were, arrived in a less than acceptable condition.
Me: Your croissants were still delicious.
Nell: I know but a Dalmatian’s eclairs burst on impact. There was cream everywhere.
Me: I think you’ll find it was crème patissiere.
Nell: Whatever. It had to lick them out of the bag.
Me: I can imagine. Eclairs are messy at the best of times.
Nell: Anyway, several witnesses claim they saw a small terrier with a bow and arrow so Poppy is in trouble.
Me: Oh dear. What’s all this got to do with your iBone?
Nell: I have photographic evidence that Poppy was inside the house during the whole of yesterday.
Me: You do?
Nell: Yes. She watched Sunday Songs from your bedroom window and was joined by Harriet and David who stayed with her the whole day.
Me: They did?
Nell: Yes. After cooking and serving an excellent roast Poppy retired exhausted to the dog basket under the kitchen table with the aforementioned puppies.
Me: You mean Dave and Harriet?
Me: Only you called them puppies.
Nell: That’s not the point. Later she enjoyed a small snack on the stairs and then spent the rest of the evening in front of the fire.
Me: I can vouch for that.
Nell: All this proves that it must have been another terrier. There are plenty of them around.
Me: Not with bows and arrows.
Nell: Quiet. Nobody asked you and if they do, you know nothing.
Me: Of course. Sorry.