Me: Is that Poppy’s new bed?
Nell: Excuse me?
Me: Are you lying on Poppy’s new bed?
Nell: I’m just breaking it in.
Me: Breaking it in?
Nell: Stop repeating everything. New beds can be a little stiff at first.
Me: It’s supposed to be in Sandringham Palace upstairs.
Nell: It will be. Now, we need to discuss your trip to the hospital today.
Me: I’m having my eyes tested.
Nell: I know.
Me: But I’m not allowed to drive back because my vision will be blurred for several hours.
Nell: Calm down.
Me: And Kev isn’t here to drive me.
Nell: How do you feel about a short trip in Rupert’s sidecar?
Me: I’m not sure arriving at the hospital with a wolf on a motorbike is awfully wise.
Nell: Have you ever ridden a llama?
Me: Not recently.
Nell: Poppy could fly you there in her helicopter but it might cause unnecessary fuss.
Me: Kev never lets me go to these appointments without him.
Nell: And today is no different. Look out of the window.
Me: There’s a chauffeur in a strange car.
Nell: Look closer.
Me: It’s Kev in a chauffeur’s uniform.
Nell: Yes. He insisted on being the one to take you. We tried to dissuade him but he refused to listen.
Me: How did he get here?
Nell: Lionel’s driver collected him.
Me: Lionel has a driver?
Nell: Don’t start. The driver’s been with him for years.
Me: Who is the other dachshund then?
Nell: What are you talking about?
Me: There are two dachshunds in the kitchen eating pancakes with Dave. I presume one of them is Lionel’s driver.
Nell: Lionel’s driver is an elderly hyena. The two dachshunds are Hope and Leo. Miss Maple’s boys. Now hurry up. Kev’s waiting.
Me: Right. Sorry.