Don’t Start

Me: Is that Poppy’s new bed?

Nell: Excuse me?

Me: Are you lying on Poppy’s new bed?

Nell: I’m just breaking it in.

Me: Breaking it in?

Nell: Stop repeating everything. New beds can be a little stiff at first.

Me: It’s supposed to be in Sandringham Palace upstairs.

Nell: It will be. Now, we need to discuss your trip to the hospital today.

Me: I’m having my eyes tested.

Nell: I know.

Me: But I’m not allowed to drive back because my vision will be blurred for several hours.

Nell: Calm down.

Me: And Kev isn’t here to drive me.

Nell: How do you feel about a short trip in Rupert’s sidecar?

Me: I’m not sure arriving at the hospital with a wolf on a motorbike is awfully wise.

Nell: Have you ever ridden a llama?

Me: Not recently.

Nell: Poppy could fly you there in her helicopter but it might cause unnecessary fuss.

Me: Kev never lets me go to these appointments without him.

Nell: And today is no different. Look out of the window.

Me: There’s a chauffeur in a strange car.

Nell: Look closer.

Me: It’s Kev in a chauffeur’s uniform.

Nell: Yes. He insisted on being the one to take you. We tried to dissuade him but he refused to listen.

Me: How did he get here?

Nell: Lionel’s driver collected him.

Me: Lionel has a driver?

Nell: Don’t start. The driver’s been with him for years.

Me: Who is the other dachshund then?

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: There are two dachshunds in the kitchen eating pancakes with Dave. I presume one of them is Lionel’s driver.

Nell: Lionel’s driver is an elderly hyena. The two dachshunds are Hope and Leo. Miss Maple’s boys. Now hurry up. Kev’s waiting.

Me: Right. Sorry.

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