All You Have To Do

Me: I know it’s a bit rainy but Harriet’s been down to the beach and she says the water isn’t that cold.

Nell: Oh good.

Me: All you have to do is jump overboard when the ship gets near the island.

Nell: What do you mean ‘all I have to do’?

Me: The seals will be waiting to guide you to dry land.

Nell: Oh, that’s alright then.

Me: And we’ll be waiting on our beach to take you all home.

Nell: I might just go to the hotel with Lionel. I’m a senior Labrador. We don’t do jumping overboard.

Me: You can’t do that, Nell. You’ll be fine. Rupert will be by your side.

Nell: He won’t unless he’s untied.

Me: He will be. Poppy signalled to the Royal Owl Force that she’s going to throw down her sword.

Nell: Poppy is willing to surrender?

Me: No, she’s going to throw it down to you. All you have to do is casually catch it and cut Rupert free.

Nell: Could you stop saying ‘all you have to do’ please?

Me: Just hide it under your sou’wester.

Nell: How do you know I’m wearing one?

Me: I’m following you on YouChewed. Our Penguin is filming everything with his drone.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: You’ve been trending for hours.

Nell: Why do you think Lionel and his cats aren’t going to stop us?

Me: They’ll be far too busy trying to get rid of the honey. Cats hate sticky fur.

Nell: Did you say honey?

Me: Yes. Owl Pacino and his chaps are going to pour runny honey over them all.

Nell: How?

Me: Honey bombs. Henry and Horst came up with the idea. Genius, isn’t it?

Nell: You’re enjoying this far too much for my liking.

Me: I know. Sorry.

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