Happy Anniversary

Me: Why are you looking at me like that?

Nell: Where’s your lace collar?

Me: I told you I wasn’t wearing one.

Nell: It’s your wedding anniversary.

Me: Yes, and I can do no wrong.

Nell: Doing no wrong is for birthdays only.

Me: You know our Romantic Dinner?

Nell: Yes.

Me: It doesn’t involve the flamenco, does it?

Nell: Why?

Me: I thought I saw Gladys and the llamas dancing flamenco in the field.

Nell: Good.

Me: Is it, though? What has Spain got to do with Kev and I?

Nell: Spanish is the language of love.

Me: I think that’s French.

Nell: David can’t sing in French so you’re just going to have to go with Spanish.

Me: What’s Dave got to do with it?

Nell: David will be singing some of the Gipsy Kings greatest hits accompanied by Manuel on the guitar. He’s an excellent player.

Me: He’s from Barcelona.

Nell: It’s all in the tentacles, according to Manuel.

Me; All we need now is the Welsh Corgi Choir waving castanets.

Nell: They’re not arriving until later.

Me: I was hoping for a quiet evening with Kev, not a Spanish fiesta.

Nell: Poppy is making paella.

Me: Will there be garlic prawns? They’re Kev’s favourite.

Nell: Of course. You will dine in the field by candlelight.

Me: Alone?

Nell: Don’t be silly. David will sing while you eat and everyone else will watch.

Me: Everyone else?

Nell: The Welsh Corgi Choir, Gladys and the llamas and us. I’ve told you this.

Me: So we’re going have a romantic dinner in a field surrounded by animals waiting for us to finish so the fiesta can begin?

Nell: Yes, just concentrate on eating quickly.

Me: Right.

Nell: And you’ll be surrounded by love, by the way.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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