Me: Why are you looking at me like that?
Nell: Where’s your lace collar?
Me: I told you I wasn’t wearing one.
Nell: It’s your wedding anniversary.
Me: Yes, and I can do no wrong.
Nell: Doing no wrong is for birthdays only.
Me: You know our Romantic Dinner?
Nell: Yes.
Me: It doesn’t involve the flamenco, does it?
Nell: Why?
Me: I thought I saw Gladys and the llamas dancing flamenco in the field.
Nell: Good.
Me: Is it, though? What has Spain got to do with Kev and I?
Nell: Spanish is the language of love.
Me: I think that’s French.
Nell: David can’t sing in French so you’re just going to have to go with Spanish.
Me: What’s Dave got to do with it?
Nell: David will be singing some of the Gipsy Kings greatest hits accompanied by Manuel on the guitar. He’s an excellent player.
Me: He’s from Barcelona.
Nell: It’s all in the tentacles, according to Manuel.
Me; All we need now is the Welsh Corgi Choir waving castanets.
Nell: They’re not arriving until later.
Me: I was hoping for a quiet evening with Kev, not a Spanish fiesta.
Nell: Poppy is making paella.
Me: Will there be garlic prawns? They’re Kev’s favourite.
Nell: Of course. You will dine in the field by candlelight.
Me: Alone?
Nell: Don’t be silly. David will sing while you eat and everyone else will watch.
Me: Everyone else?
Nell: The Welsh Corgi Choir, Gladys and the llamas and us. I’ve told you this.
Me: So we’re going have a romantic dinner in a field surrounded by animals waiting for us to finish so the fiesta can begin?
Nell: Yes, just concentrate on eating quickly.
Me: Right.
Nell: And you’ll be surrounded by love, by the way.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
