Nell: What is Harriet doing?
Me: It’s not Harriet. It’s Elsie, the Chocolate Lab who’s in love with Dave.
Nell: Oh yes. I can see that now. What’s she doing?
Me: Eating the crops.
Nell: She shouldn’t be doing that.
Me: I know.
Nell: And who’s the elderly Golden Retriever?
Me: Maya. They’re our neighbours.
Nell: Is Maya in love with David, too?
Me: Don’t be silly.
Nell: It’s a simple question.
Me: No. Just Elsie. She goes all unnecessary when she sees Dave. Throws herself on the ground and then dances around him.
Nell: What does David do?
Me: Nothing really. He seems a little bemused by it all.
Nell: As long as he doesn’t encourage her. She’s obviously young and he’s a mature Labrador.
Me: I never think of him as mature. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: Is he still a Pescatarian?
Me: Very much so.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: He wanted kippers for breakfast but Herr Hoffmann said there were too many bones so he had sardines on toast instead.
Nell: You’re going to run out of fish soon.
Me: Well, you’re not going to believe this.
Nell: I might.
Me: The Beefies have started a fish delivery business.
Nell: What a surprise.
Me: You can order online and they deliver.
Nell: Do they, indeed?
Me: If you subscribe you get your first order free and subsequent orders at a discount.
Nell: I can’t believe it.
Me: It’s a very good option for Pescatarians like Dave.
Nell: David isn’t a Pescatarian. He’s a meat eater.
Me: Not at the moment.
Nell: You can’t order fish from the Beefies.
Me: It’s quite safe. The website says all fish are checked by the Regional Fish Board.
Nell: Except there isn’t a Regional Fish Board.
Me: Oh dear. Sorry.
