

Me: Another lovely day on the beach.
Nell: Yes, it was delightful.
Me: Just what we needed after that delicious roast dinner.
Nell: Some of us had two dinners.
Me: One and a half to be fair. Dave didn’t eat the whole plate.
Nell: All I can say is that it’s lucky The Cat has a small appetite.
Me: And knows Dave really well.
Nell: I don’t understand how the mistake happened. It isn’t exactly far from here to the Big House.
Me: He thought the gravy was leaking so he had to check.
Nell: And was it?
Me: Not exactly, but it was dangerously near the edge of the plate.
Nell: You don’t lick other people’s food. It’s simply not done.
Me: He was just trying to help.
Nell: Imagine if waiters did that in restaurants.
Me: I would rather not.
Nell: ‘Excuse me, madam, but I had to lick your scone. The cream was dangerously close to falling off.’
Me: Unlikely to happen as you put the cream on yourself.
Nell: You know what I mean.
Me: You lick each other’s bowls when you’ve finished.
Nell: That’s different. A tidy bowl is a tidy mind. The Cat hadn’t even started.
Me: Maybe that’s all Dave was doing. Tidying up.
Nell: He ate the meat and potatoes and left the vegetables.
Me: They didn’t have any gravy on them.
Nell: He took away the Roastness from the roast.
Me: I did say it was a bad idea letting him take it over.
Nell: If he never tries he’ll never learn.
Me: He was awfully sorry, Nell. He even offered The Cat his apple crumble and custard.
Nell: The Cat doesn’t eat desserts.
Me: How was Dave to know?
Nell: David knew. Believe me.
Me: Yes. He probably did. Sorry.