A Slight Overreaction?

Me: You remember Widecombe in the Moor, don’t you?

Nell: Yes, we’ve been here several times with Chris and Alice.

Me: Shall I order tea?

Nell: Yes. I have a signal so I’ll check my messages.

Me: Okay.

Nell: You’re not going to believe this.

Me: I just might.

Nell: There’s a message from Sally and several from Rupert. About David.

Me: Is my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy okay?

Nell: No. He’s signed a contract giving up friends and family to become the next James Bond.

Me: What?

Nell: Not intentionally.

Me: So, is he off filming somewhere?

Nell: No. He’s living in a ruined castle on a hill all alone with only bread and water.

Me: No bacon?

Nell: It’s all he’ll allow Rupert to bring him. And a soft duvet because it’s cold.

Me: How did this happen?

Nell: Two beautiful Maine Coons approached David right here in Widecombe saying they were talent scouts for Oliver Bone.

Me: The film director?

Nell: Exactly. They said David would make the perfect Bond.

Me: He would.

Nell: All he had to do was sign an NDA.

Me: A non-disclosure agreement?

Nell: Unfortunately this one said ‘No Dogs Allowed’.

Me: But Dave’s a dog?

Nell: No other dogs. David has been tricked into giving us all up. Including Sally.

Me: That’s dreadful.

Nell: Since then he’s been living in this ruin. Rupert is allowed to visit him once a day but he won’t see Sally or let any of us know.

Me: A slight overreaction?

Nell: I agree. Sally is distraught and Rupert has had enough.

Me: We have to do something.

Nell: We need to gather our troops, destroy the document and get David back. No dogs indeed.

Me: Can I finish my scone?

Nell: No.

Me: Okay. Sorry.

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