Nell: David passed Exercising Restraint Level Three with flying colours.
Me: That’s wonderful. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Does he get a certificate?
Nell: Yes, he does and bacon sandwiches for breakfast served to him in the yellow chair.
Me: What a treat.
Nell: The highest honour of all, however, was an unexpected lick on the nose from Poppy.
Me: Amazing.
Nell: Yes. Poppy doesn’t just give away a lick on the nose. It has to be earned.
Me: Well, Dave certainly earned it. She had him waiting hours for that bread.
Nell: Poppy thinks Exercising Restraint Level Four is well within David’s capabilities.
Me: I’m sure it is. As long as it doesn’t involve bacon.
Nell; Bacon is Level Six. Level Four is peanut butter and Level Five is cheese.
Me: What about sausages?
Nell: Don’t be ridiculous. Sausages are much too difficult. Try and be a little realistic.
Me: I wonder if llamas are good at Exercising Restraint.
Nell: Llamas have no restraint whatsoever. Have you seen them this morning?
Me: Do you mean the cartwheeling down the field?
Nell: Ridiculous behaviour. I blame Princess.
Me; Why?
Nell: Singing ‘Climb every mountain’ all the time. It’s given them ideas.
Me: I think Princess looks good in a wimple. It brings out her eyes.
Nell: You can’t have a seal as the Mother Superior. It’s all wrong.
Me: You would be perfect in that role. I’m surprised the Whippets Institute didn’t ask you.
Nell: They did, actually.
Me: Why didn’t you agree?
Nell: I have a family to look after and a house to run. I can’t just go off touring the country.
Me: They’re going on tour?
Nell: Haven’t you seen the posters? ‘The Sound of Music. Coming to a theatre near you.’
Me: I didn’t know. Sorry.
