Me: There’s something odd going on upstairs.
Nell: It’s not nuns, is it? I don’t think I can bear to listen to The Whippets Institute trying solve a problem like Maria again.
Me: It’s not nuns. It’s Dave and Poppy. I want to know why Poppy is guarding three pieces of bread?
Nell: Didn’t you see the sign on the door?
Me: No.
Nell: David is in the middle of an important exam.
Me: And Poppy?
Nell: She’s the examiner of course.
Me: What is Dave being examined on?
Nell: Exercising Restraint.
Me: Gosh.
Nell: Level Three.
Me: That’s high, isn’t it?
Nell: Very. David has managed Levels One and Two. But never Three.
Me: Do you mind me asking what exactly Dave has to do?
Nell: Nothing.
Me: Nothing?
Nell: Notice how Poppy is guarding the bread in a completely nonchalant way.
Me: Yes, I did notice that. She’s awfully good at it, isn’t she?
Nell: Her head turned away as if she doesn’t know it’s there and couldn’t care less.
Me: But actually she is watching it like a hawk.
Nell: Don’t bring birds into this, please.
Me: Apologies.
Nell: And notice the accomplished way David is copying Poppy’s nonchalant stance.
Me: Oh yes. He’s pretending not to care about the bread either. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: Exactly. I think David is going to get high marks for this.
Me: He deserves it. Does he get the bread in the end?
Nell: After an allocated time the bread is shared.
Me: Good.
Nell: But only if the animal has shown Proper Restraint.
Me: What if Dave makes a sudden run for the bread?
Nell: An automatic fail.
Me: He still gets the bread though.
Nell: That is not the point.
Me: No, of course not. Sorry.
