A Lioness and a Luxury Breakfast

Me: There’s a lioness in the kitchen eating smoked salmon and scrambled eggs.

Nell: Yes, I know. She’s sharing a luxury breakfast with The Cat.

Me: A luxury breakfast?

Nell: Yes. There’s caviar and Poppy has made blinis.

Me: Aren’t blinis Russian pancakes?

Nell: Yes.

Me: Poppy has never made blinis for us.

Nell: I know.

Me: Why not?

Nell: Probably because we didn’t win a luxury breakfast in the New Year’s raffle.

Me: But the lioness did?

Nell: No. The Cat did. The lioness just happened to come into the kitchen when The Cat was eating, so it asked her to stay.

Me: Do you think that really ‘just happened’?Don’t you think the lioness knew there might be a luxury breakfast going spare and just decided to join in?

Nell: It wasn’t going spare. Anyway, Mrs King has come to see Sally about Oliver. She had no idea about any luxury breakfasts.

Me: Mrs King? That’s rather formal.

Nell: We’ve only just met.

Me: I wonder if she’s called Elsa. If I had a lioness that would be my name for it.

Nell: Well, this lioness is a free spirit and her name is Carole.

Me: Carole? Do you think she can sing?

Nell: Why bring singing into it? She’s not a corgi.

Me: Never mind. What does she want to tell Sally about Oliver?

Nell: Isn’t it obvious?

Me: Oh my goodness. Mrs King is Roary’s mother. We’ve found Roary’s mother.

Nell: Yes, Sherlock Martin. Although, I think you will find Roary’s mother found us.

Me; Did she put him in our loft?

Nell: She did and since the kidnapping she has been hiding in the treehouse.

Me: With Oliver?

Nell: Yes, and much more to the point, with her companion and secret love, Beauregard.

Me: Gosh. Sorry.

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