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Boxing Day

Nell: That’s Naughty Nigel in a Christmas hat.

Me: I know it is.

Nell: With Xav the Cat.

Me: Yes, isn’t Xav looking well after his terrible accident? You would never think he was at death’s door a few months ago.

Nell: While we are all obviously extremely pleased to hear about Xav’s recovery, he is clearly making derogatory comments about Nigel’s hat

Me: You don’t know that, Nell. He might be paying him a compliment.

Nell: Cats don’t do compliments.

Me: Some do.

Nell: Look at Nigel’s face.

Me: Labradors are awfully good at sad faces

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: It’s how you get your treats.

Nell: If a Labrador has a sad face then it will be for a very good reason.

Me: Yes. Greed.

Nell: Greed? How can you say that? We are simply being Supportive and Encouraging.

Me: Why do you have to look sad?

Nell: It’s not Sadness. It’s Concern.

Me: If you say so.

Nell: I’m concerned about the lack of leftovers.

Me: I thought Poppy made extra for bubble and squeak.

Nell: When we opened the refrigerator this morning there was nothing much left.

Me: How odd.

Nell: All I am going to say is David was in charge of Clearing Up.

Me: He’s done a very good job then. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Clearing Up does not mean Eating Up.

Me: Even Dave can’t have eaten everything.

Nell: He was part of a team.

Me: Oh dear. It wasn’t The Three Kings was it?

Nell: Beauregard might have been involved. Tigers can be awfully greedy, but you can’t think Rupert would stoop so low.

Me: Rupert is a wolf, Nell. Wolves have large appetites.

Nell: Rupert is a gentleman wolf. There’s a huge difference

Me: Of course. Sorry.

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