Me: Why are you hiding behind the cushions? Are you spying on someone?
Nell: Why would you say such a ridiculous thing?
Me: I’m right, aren’t I?
Nell: I’m simply keeping a close eye.
Me: On whom?
Me: The beautiful Bernese Mountain Dog from Toronto?
Nell: Obviously, I’m hardly going to be monitoring fruit.
Nell: I’m finding her suspiciously glamorous for a Sunday morning.
Me: You’re glamorous too, Nell.
Nell: I’m not even wearing a hat.
Me: Rhu isn’t wearing a hat either. She’s just naturally striking.
Nell: Did you just say ‘Rhu’?
Me: Yes, that’s what everyone calls her.
Nell: She’s wearing a neckerchief.
Me: I think it’s a bandana.
Nell: Rupert seems completely smitten. All he can talk about is her autumn colours.
Me: That’s because he and The Cat are launching the latest Knitwear Wolf range and she’s agreed to model.
Nell: How kind of her.
Me: And Dave is over the moon to have her here. In fact they’ve started dance training now that his cough has almost gone.
Nell: You do realise that she had two breakfasts.
Me: It can happen.
Nell: Pancakes with Manuel and then bacon sandwiches with David.
Me: She’s a Mountain Dog. They have large appetites.
Nell: You know David is an honorary Mountain Dog, don’t you?
Me: Yes, I remember her inviting him to the Mountain Dog Conference the last time she was over.
Nell: Sally isn’t happy.
Me: I’m sure Sally is fine.
Nell: Now, that’s where you’re wrong.
Me: I am?
Nell: Yes, I received a text from her this morning.
Me: What did it say?
Nell: ‘Keep an eye on Rhubarb for me, would you? S. X’
Me: Nice of her to add a kiss.
Nell: That’s not the point.
Me: No. Sorry.