Keeping a Close Eye

Me: Why are you hiding behind the cushions? Are you spying on someone?

Nell: Why would you say such a ridiculous thing?

Me: I’m right, aren’t I?

Nell: I’m simply keeping a close eye.

Me: On whom?

Nell: Rhubarb.

Me: The beautiful Bernese Mountain Dog from Toronto?

Nell: Obviously, I’m hardly going to be monitoring fruit.

Me: Why?

Nell: I’m finding her suspiciously glamorous for a Sunday morning.

Me: You’re glamorous too, Nell.

Nell: I’m not even wearing a hat.

Me: Rhu isn’t wearing a hat either. She’s just naturally striking.

Nell: Did you just say ‘Rhu’?

Me: Yes, that’s what everyone calls her.

Nell: She’s wearing a neckerchief.

Me: I think it’s a bandana.

Nell: Rupert seems completely smitten. All he can talk about is her autumn colours.

Me: That’s because he and The Cat are launching the latest Knitwear Wolf range and she’s agreed to model.

Nell: How kind of her.

Me: And Dave is over the moon to have her here. In fact they’ve started dance training now that his cough has almost gone.

Nell: You do realise that she had two breakfasts.

Me: It can happen.

Nell: Pancakes with Manuel and then bacon sandwiches with David.

Me: She’s a Mountain Dog. They have large appetites.

Nell: You know David is an honorary Mountain Dog, don’t you?

Me: Yes, I remember her inviting him to the Mountain Dog Conference the last time she was over.

Nell: Sally isn’t happy.

Me: I’m sure Sally is fine.

Nell: Now, that’s where you’re wrong.

Me: I am?

Nell: Yes, I received a text from her this morning.

Me: What did it say?

Nell: ‘Keep an eye on Rhubarb for me, would you? S. X’

Me: Nice of her to add a kiss.

Nell: That’s not the point.

Me: No. Sorry.

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